What My Wife Thought Before We Got Married

I wrote an article about why my wife married me even though I was not her type earlier. Now my wife has a few words to say about the time we dated and up to our marriage. Let me turn the time over to her to share her memories and perspective. :)

From Heidi, My Wife

When I first met Jeremy, he was very different than he is now. He seemed nice enough, but he was not my “type” and I was not interested in pursuing a relationship beyond being coworkers (though I did think he was kinda cute). The first time I saw Jeremy, he was wearing a t-shirt that was at least two times too big and basketball shorts that were at least two times too baggy. His hair was short, which meant he cared enough about his appearance to get a haircut every now and then. However, it was the manner that he presented himself that was the biggest obstacle working against him.

You see, Jeremy hated it when people tried to make themselves out to be better than they really are, so he didn’t do that. Instead, not realizing it, he did the exact opposite. Instead of making people think he was better than he is, he gave people the impression that he was less intelligent than he is. He didn’t care about his work, he didn’t care about how he presented himself (physically and verbally), and he didn’t care about a lot of things. He would intentionally say things that were—I hate to say it, but don’t know how else to say it—stupid. And, based on his actions at the time, that is what he was.

I knew that Jeremy liked me. It was written all over his face. I still remember the expression on his face when I sat down next to him and talked to him for the first time to tell him that I was going to be his new team leader. He was undeniably happy. (And, by-the-way, his performance at work GREATLY improved while he was on my team. Ha ha. Nothing like trying to do your best so you can impress a girl, right?)

I was in the middle of a long-distance relationship with someone else—someone that I was pretty sure I was going to marry. Our dating status was “unofficial” and so I was free to date whomever I wanted, but I had no intention of seriously dating anyone until my unofficial boyfriend got home. So when Jeremy asked me out for a date, I accepted. So as to not lead him on, I told him my feelings upfront and about my unofficial boyfriend. I had no idea the impact this date had on Jeremy until much later.

Some time went by and Jeremy would still ask me to do things with him. I’m not sure the reason why, but I was able to speak more freely with Jeremy than I had with any other guy before. I was the most at ease with who I was around him. … That was unexpected. … But Jeremy was also candid (I think) in talking with me, as well. I began to see his “stupidity” was a façade and that there really was depth to this Jeremy guy. I began to see a side of him that was more compatible to my own self. Not so much in superficial things (like clothes and hobbies), but in core beliefs that define who we really are.

Something about Jeremy stuck in my head. Maybe it was because he wasn’t pushy and I was able to think freely, I’m not sure. Regardless, I found myself thinking about him a lot – especially for a guy I didn’t think I was interested in. After a couple of months from when we decided we weren’t going to date, I called him up and asked if he wanted to do something with me. Of course he agreed! We have been together ever since. There was something compelling about Jeremy, but I didn’t know what. It still wasn’t even until we had been married for a couple of years that Jeremy really began to “blossom.” (Can you say “blossom” for a guy? Anyway, that’s exactly what he did.)

There are still things about Jeremy that are “not my type.” However, many of those things are the things that make us so compatible. We balance each other out very well, I think. My strengths help his weaknesses, and his strengths help my weaknesses. Together, we are well-rounded. Enough, anyway. :)

My Thoughts

It’s me Jeremy now. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Heidi. She sure is great and very understanding with me. I have grand plans I want to accomplish and she is very supportive of me every step of the way. I look forward to continuing my life with her. I hope some of her thoughts helped you see more about what our time during our first year was like together. I think my next article will be about some of the major challenges we’ve had and how we have been able to work together through them.