What REALLY Are Your Top Values?

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I’d like to think that growth, contribution, courage, and exploration are some of my top values. I would like to consider myself the type of person who values trying new things and exploring the sheer variety of this life. However, Steve Pavlina recently posted a comment on Google Plus in response to a comment I made, that makes me rethink what my top values for myself are…

Steve recently posted an April Fool’s article about a new workshop he planned on doing about Domination and Submission. I’m not well versed in this, but it’s a role playing interaction between two or more partners who want to explore and experiment with ways to interact through a combination of master, slave, or both.

At first, I thought the workshop was real. I found the article on it entertaining and an amusing read. I even commented on Steve’s Google Plus page that I thought it was real and it gave me a good laugh to realize that it indeed was an April Fool’s joke instead. Then Steve said something that really made me think. I’ve simply posted the image screenshot below for you to view.

Steve basically asked if I would have signed up for it. I didn’t click the “Register Now” on his blog post and I would have learned that it was a joke had I done that. But I didn’t click it. And therefore I assumed it was real…

Why Didn’t I Want To Sign Up?

I’m not saying I’m interested in Domination and Submission. But why I’m not interested intrigues me more than anything else.

Why didn’t I want to sign up for such a workshop? Was it just too far out there for my comfort zone? What would my wife think if I were interested in such a thing? What would my friends and family think? Is it not even a possibility for me to experience certain things in life because I’m afraid of what my wife and/or family would think? I don’t know the answer to this totally, but I do think these are factors.

Maybe I thought the cost of such a workshop wasn’t worth it. If it were free, maybe I would have considered it. But then again, I might not have due to my worries of offending or turning off those close to me. Maybe I’m just concerned about taking such a weird and bold risk.

At any rate, I take a step back and examine what my real values are in my life. I’d love to think I’m this entrepreneurial force for good in the world. I’d like to think I’m learning and growing at an astounding rate. But this may not be true – at least not at the level I think.

I realize that I value the family I have and my first instinct in any decision is to keep the family taken care of and together. Any action that could disrupt the family is quickly brushed aside – even if I have thoughts in the back of my mind that it would be really fun to do or something I’d like to try, I keep “odd” or “risky” thoughts to myself.

After all, if my wife or kids found out and they thought it was completely weird or thought less of me because I considered it, that would be a blow to me. This tells me I value certainty and comfort very highly. I’m not willing to take risks that might cause a ripple with those around me. I like to play it safe and make things predictable.

The Real Priority of Values

I value certainty, comfort, predictability, stability, and safety very highly. My actions definitely support this.

I value less growth, exploration, courage, playfulness, experimentation, and uncertainty. I can see now that my actions support this.

I’m not saying one is better than the other. But am I losing out on experiences in this life by not acting on some of the things I think? Even though the Domination and Submission article was fake and I may not be interested even if I were to try it, what other things am I missing out on due to a lack of courage and trying new things? What can I do to put those at the top of my value list?

Steve gave a few suggestions at his Conscious Success Workshop earlier in the year that I can try (because I attended the workshop and learned them). I think having a discussion with my wife is another logical next step. Finally, sharing some of them here publicly might be another good way to try new things and explore more – because I really want to experience more in life – trying new things, learning, growing, etc…

What are your top values? Do your actions support the list of top values you think you have? What would you like your top values to be if there is a conflict?

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Updated: April 2, 2012 — 4:24 PM

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