One of the most profound statements came to me in 2015. And it is this:
Inner Peace Comes From An Acceptance of Reality, Regardless of How You Want It To Be
This single quote changed my life. For you, wanting to become a real man and meet a great woman, the study and application of this statement are paramount. Because there are things about life that just are – they are truths and ways reality is that presently, you don’t have any control over. Think about some of these things for a moment:
- You’re a human being. You don’t have wings and can’t just take off and fly easily. Not without assistance, training, or a jet pack.
- We’re all on this giant spinning rock in space.
- Each person is a unique individual and will make decisions in accordance with their belief system.
- Understand what is in your control (exercise, study, attitude, actions).
- In life, events outside your control will affect your life.
Let’s go over each of these a moment and how you’ll be able to apply each in your own life. Why? Because when it comes to life and reality, a large part of it is looking at the way things are and learning to be at peace with the present situation. Then, you can take the things within your control and take action toward them.
You’re a human being. You don’t have wings and can’t just take off and fly easily. Not without assistance, training, or a jet pack.
I remember as a young boy, growing up in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I would play with my friends outside. One evening, we raked up a huge pile of leaves. We would take turns trying to jump over the leaves. I would raise my arms to my side and wish that I had wings and could just leap over the leaves with ease. Instead, I would jump and my legs would crash into many of the leaves :).
Think about walking around outside right now. How much is within your capability? Can you just take off and fly? How high can you jump? What are the limits of how loud your voice can go? How easy is it to move objects?
When you really think about it, as an individual, each of us is pretty limited. We’re physically limited to our speed, strength, and endurance. You can increase these through exercise, but in large part, learning to be at peace with what you are capable of is an important step to becoming a real man. Why? Because the one who becomes at peace with who they are and what they are capable of will learn to be a calming and centering influence in situations. He won’t be delusional about what he is capable of.
This isn’t to say that great things aren’t possible. When many are aligned to a single purpose, there’s tremendous creation potential. But in this case, for the individual, learning to be at peace with you and your own mortality and limitation is an incredibly important step to becoming a real man.
We’re all on this giant spinning rock in space.
It’s an obvious statement, but we’re all on a giant spinning rock in outer space. Most of the time, you may not think about this. Our perception of reality is “clouded” (pun intended) by the atmosphere. It’s only when an astronaut or person breaks free of the atmosphere that you really get to see beyond what is going on the earth.
So why spend any time focusing on this statement? How is this going to help you be a real man? Well, in tandem with the first statement, you’ll want to start focusing on being a student of reality as it is. It’s incredibly easy to become delusional about reality – seeing it as way better than it is or much worse than it is. Being able to see things exactly as they are is a crucial step to being a real man. Why? Because you’ll learn to read situations and people exactly as they are and you’ll become efficient at drawing yourself toward those situations and people that are in alignment with the reality you are seeking instead of “spinning your wheels” with people and situations that are not.
Take a moment and soak in these first two statements. Think of a few more that are true. You might say. I have two arms and two legs. The grass is green and soft. That car is noisy. That person seems tired. As you go about your daily life, start to examine reality and make unbiased statements about it. As you continue to do this, you’ll start to become a wizard in reality as it is and this is crucial to your development as a real man.
Each person is a unique individual and will make decisions in accordance with their belief system.
We’ve covered your own personal limitations in reality, now, let’s talk about other people. With many billions of people on the planet, a large part of your life is going to be interacting with all of them. How does a real man interact with people?
To answer this, think about what you want. You’re reading this course because you have some kind of desire. Perhaps you want to be more of an influencer. Maybe you’re interested in being a manager or leader. Maybe you’re just trying to attract a great woman into your life. Whatever your interest is, people are going to likely be a part of it. Therefore, you’re going to have to be a student of people and their actions toward you.
Think carefully for a moment on this. You’re talking to a woman that you’re interested in. You’re sharing something special to you and she is checking her phone and looking around. Every time you talk to her, she’s engaged in other activities besides listening to you. Are these the actions of someone interested in you as a person? If you really like this woman, you may dilute reality and see past these actions, thinking that because she’s near you, she likes you. But you must learn to be a stronger version of yourself and higher student of reality than that. Always pay attention to the actions people are taking toward you, not what you think about the situation. When you base your reality on other people’s actions and interest toward you, you save yourself time and trouble with those who just aren’t that interested in you.
This skill is a tough one to master. Because when you have a high interest in someone, you tend to conjure up situations in your mind about that person and situation with them, when in reality, that person may not be that interested in you. You have to have the strength to see reality as it is and walk away from that closed door to others where you get reciprocated interest. Task yourself with paying attention to how people are receiving you in your day-to-day interactions. Make note of those who reciprocate interest to you. They will listen, speak with you, smile, and in general, you will know they are interested.
Understand what is in your control (exercise, study, attitude, actions).
What is in your control in life? Can you make someone fall in love with you? You might be able to put on a show to create temporary emotion, but making anyone do anything is largely out of your control. However, there’s many things that can benefit you that are most definitely within your control.
You probably have the capability right now to get up and take a walk. Maybe even go for a run. You might be able to do push-ups, arm curls, and squats for your legs. This is all motion of your body that you have the ability to make happen. You don’t need to persuade anybody but yourself to do this. Exercise is one way you can make yourself a more attractive individual. In addition to looking good, your energy and confidence will rise as your body becomes an improved vehicle for you in this life. And you can start doing it right now.
Back in 2008, I did the P90X workout program. By doing that, I learned about upper body training, lower body training, core training, yoga, stretching, plyometrics, and how to work my body. This has proved valuable for the future as I exercise. I look at exercise as sculpting my body to become the best physical specimen I can be and to have the most energy I am capable of having. A real man seeks to unlock his full potential in all areas and the physical body is one such area.
A real man studies and seeks understanding in all things. He seeks to become a well-spring of knowledge. Why? Because this allows him to be a problem solver and a “MacGyver” in situations. This gives him confidence and certainty where otherwise it would not.
There’s many ways to study. Google and YouTube are my top two ways to study. I am constantly seeking out information from those two channels. And when you find something, read or listen to it and then come to your own conclusion. Because not everything you hear and read is accurate. You’ve got to be able to do your own due diligence and think for yourself. Always be studying.
Your attitude is your compass in life. When you seek the positive in situations, you will move toward that. When all you see is the negative, you will move toward that. The real man guards his attitude like a vault of gold and knows that even the slightest negative attitude will steer him off course to achieving his goals and desires.
Surround yourself with those who have a happy and positive attitude about life. Have the strength to let go of those people who have a poor attitude.
If you find yourself having difficulty in this area, start with your own self talk. Say this statement throughout each and every day:
I am happy and optimistic. I know life has its challenges, but I am moving toward greatness.
You have total control over your actions. Sometimes, your body will be impaired – you will be sick or having a down day, but you still have the ability to go outside for a walk. You still have the ability to play uplifting music. You still have the ability to read and write. It’s when you are feeling your worst that it is most important to take action. By taking action, you condition your body that action taking is important.
I can’t stress this enough. Taking action consistently will create a habit of action. Not taking action consistently will create a habit of inaction.
In life, events outside your control will affect your life.
Toward the end of the year 2009, I had two difficult events occur. One was a Kidney Stone. If you’ve ever had one, it’s akin to giving birth. That lasted for a few days before an infection started and I underwent surgery to remove what could have been something fatal. The other was rupturing a disc in my spine and impinging the nerves in my lower back going down my left leg. I had to have surgery for that too.
Through your own ignorance, or just lack of knowledge, life will hit you with challenges. It’s up to you to use these are learning experiences and guidance moving forward. I now carefully manage my back and drink a lot of fluids to avoid getting a Kidney Stone again. Use your past challenges as fuel for future progress and success.
This concludes lesson 1. Be a student of reality as it is and move toward people and situations that reciprocate interest and are in alignment with what you want. Have the strength and courage to walk away from those people and situations that become a closed door.