My most popular article about twin flames has gotten so many comments that I just don’t have the time to respond to them. I just let people share paragraphs upon paragraphs of their stories because I know how helpful it is when you are initially going through it to be able to voice yourself.
After all this time, I’ve deconstructed the situation and I know exactly what it is. My situation is very similar to everyone else’s, but I’ll share exactly what the illusion is and how my situation unfolded.
There was for sure an initial attraction in the situation for me between both of us – absolutely. Both of us freely interacted and in my case, I was married at the time. This created additional attraction toward me because I was “unavailable”. A married man is off limits and that’s enticing.
Because I was married, I was extremely free to interact without any expectations. This created additional attraction because a woman who sees that a man’s feelings are unclear and isn’t pressuring her into anything is going to be drawn to that man – especially if there is the initial attraction. That man then becomes a challenge, which is way more interesting than a man who just throws himself at a woman. This was the case for me.
In my case, we had casual lunches where we would talk and I would always end the lunch. I never acted in a way where I needed anything from the other. Once we started spending more time together, it had been such a long period of time of interacting that there was quite a bit of tension to escalate the situation.
Once we began spending more time together, that was what people call the bubble phase. It was really just two people who were really into each other at the time. Unknowingly, I created the perfect recipe for attraction – confidence, control, challenge, and not being easily available.
After this period ended after a couple months, that’s when the search for the explanation started. But really, it was just a huge investment in emotion by my part who would be called the chaser. The other saw the situation and “checked out” many weeks prior, similarly to how I “checked out” of my marriage a while before I actually got divorced.
The one who “checks out” loses any emotional attachment and separating is not that big a deal for them. Many in the twin flame situation who chase create these elaborate ideas that the other is just so afraid to talk to them because they might get rejected. That’s a huge lie. The other has simply checked out and moved on much sooner than the one who is the chaser.
The illusion is that because the “chaser” did not “check out”, they remained emotionally invested as the other disconnected. This lead them to feel pain because their emotions were still running hot. It’s like taking away a rack of ribs from someone who hasn’t eaten for a few days. They really want those ribs because of their hunger.
And so it was the case for me. Eventually, through discipline, willpower, and moving on, those emotions do die down for the “chaser” and reach the level that the “runner” is at. It becomes level again.
So many chasers, especially women, create this idea in their mind about the situation and become fixated on the other instead of seeing reality as it is and moving on. These women want so badly the other to want them and this is a poor way to value yourself. Always move on from people who don’t respond to you. This does take discipline.
There really is no twin flame, I hate to say it, just a situation where two people were really attracted to each other, the perfect situation allowed interaction and interest, and one person checked out and the other didn’t while their emotions were hot still. It’s just a type of human interaction and that is it.
Hope this helps some of you see the reality of the situation where you may be having a hard time. Just move on and chalk it up to a learning experience – especially if you were the chaser in the situation.