Why You Did (Or Didn’t Do) That

Have you ever made a mistake and said to yourself, “I can’t believe I did that … again!” Have you watched someone do the same thing over and over and wonder why they keep doing it? Surely there is something wrong with the other person! If they could just see things from your perspective, maybe things would turn out better for them.

People find a way

People find a way to do what they want. To understand what they want, you must take a trip backwards through their entire journey in life, not just a moment. When someone is first born into the world, neural connections in the brain are made at an astounding rate. The baby learns at a rate that far surpasses adults.

As time goes on, the rate of learning decreases. But already, there are connections in the brain that are forming beliefs about the world. Predetermined responses to words, phrases, sounds, loud noises, laughter, anger, video, and more, are forming. As a human develops over time, the connections in their brain form the basis for what they want in life.

I’m not master of anatomy. But even if all I had was my own experience and the experiences of other people to make this claim from, that would be enough for me. Maybe I don’t know the exact details of how the brain connects via its neurons; but, suffice it to say, I do understand that each human becomes more programmed and predetermined to a certain way of life as time goes on.

Links in the brain

You probably have links in your brain that are important to you. What is a link? It is simply a connection you’ve made about a situation or circumstance that you find either good or bad. You may have had a bad experience in front of a group of people when you were young. This may have formed a belief in your mind that getting in front of people is painful.

You may have had a good experience doing a sport when you were young. Perhaps you found you were good at it and enjoyed it. Chances are that you have a connection in your brain to this activity. For instance, I love the game of basketball. This is because at a young age I was shown the game, I enjoyed it the first time, had a good experience, and continue to do so to this day.

All your beliefs about the world and every possible situation are stored in your brain—some you don’t even know about yet. Have you thought much about what you would do if you were at work and a person with a gun came in and started shooting? Chances are you would do what most people do: either freeze in place, or go find a room to barricade yourself in.

Were this situation to happen, your belief about the situation would surface. But chances are you aren’t thinking about it much beforehand. This is the extreme example. Most of the links in your brain are from previous situations and your response to them are stored for future use. I had bad experiences growing up interacting with people. As such, I became very shy. I’ve had to do some major programming in recent years to undo the damage from that.

Involuntary change in the brain

Your beliefs may even cause some involuntary links to be formed. Last year, I made the mistake of saying something to somebody that Jane Doe had told me. Unbeknownst to me, Jane Doe wanted what they said to me to be kept private. I obviously did not pick up on this assumption; but, to this day, Jane Doe acts differently toward me. She is less open to me in what she says and has formed a belief, based on my mistake, that I should not be told anything personal.

What about the bank robber? Do you think that someone who goes to rob a bank has been that way their entire life? Chances are there was some event that triggered a link in their brain. A new belief. It could have been getting laid off from the bank as a worker. Or it might have been getting abused in some way. Whatever it is, it triggered a very intense link. Why? Because most people don’t go around robbing banks!

Involuntary conformity is another link/belief in the brain. From a young age in grade school, we are told to sit down and shut-up. We are told to be quiet. We are told to obey the rules. We are punished if we do not obey the rules. This programs the majority of people’s brains to act in a conformist way. To not follow rules is to get punished and feel pain…

Mental conditioning

An athlete trains to get stronger and faster. Our brains are the same way. If we train our brains to focus on stress and struggle, we will create that life for ourselves. If we train our brains to focus on reward and benefit, we will create that life as well. It is a shame to see people conditioning their brains toward stress, despair, struggle, and pessimism. Often, it is done without any realization that the brain is becoming more and more cemented to think that way.

Master marketers are especially adept at conditioning the brains of other people. I’ll take the phrase “weight loss” for example. If you are someone who understands fitness and nutrition, then you know that “weight loss” is really a loaded term. Real health comes from focusing on lean muscle mass, percent body fat, and healthy eating several times a day (more than three)—not just the number on the scale.

Yet there are countless companies who sell you the idea of weight loss and how it is a magic formula for feeling better in your life. I really think society has a ways to go if these companies are staying in business. And this is a tough obstacle to overcome. Weight loss is so entrenched in society that it is going to take a herculean effort to shift the conscious way of thinking about health.

Philosophy of wealth

Give $1,000 to 50 random people and there is going to be many different uses of that money. But chances are, the money is going to be spent on something that has been advertised to the person. As a society, we are conditioned through TV commercials to consume. We are conditioned to buy the latest gadget, to get that new car, to spend our money on different things.

Wouldn’t it be marvelous to create a “commercial” that focused on investing. And I’m not talking about the investment companies that are trying to sell you on their service. I’m talking about sharing a mindset of investing for the betterment of your future and your children’s future. Perhaps society is not quite ready for that kind of constant exposure.

An example of philosophy of wealth is “poor” people. I’ve heard people say to me, “I don’t know how I’m going to pay the rent this month” or, “We just don’t have very much money.” The interesting thing is that some of the people I am mentioning make more money than I do. And I consider myself to be doing pretty well. So the amount of income is irrelevant when it comes to your philosophy of wealth.

The person who was talking about not knowing how to pay their rent still finds a way to go to an expensive restaurant or take their family to eat fast food—all of which are much more expensive than budgeting and focusing on cost-effective food in the home. The point is, people find a way to do what is most important to them. A “poor” person’s philosophy says that they must be comfortable above all else. They must feel like they have money before they actually have any.

What you think about productivity

Your philosophy of productivity will determine much of what you do (and don’t do). I’d like to think that most people who have read up to this point have a high value of productivity and results. However, there are people in the world—many people—who have a philosophy of productivity that equates to “work sucks.” This is unfortunate. There is going to be difficulty in overcoming the hardships we face in society if a large number of people have a poor philosophy of productivity.

You’ve probably gained momentum one way or the other. I’ve known people since I was very young who have done everything they can to get someone else to get things for them. Whether it was retrieving something from the same room or avoiding physical activity, this has naturally propagated later in life and manifested itself in wealth, health, and happiness.

There are many I’ve seen, especially online, who I can tell are gaining tremendous momentum through their activity. They are creating their website(s), gaining readers, likely getting in excellent physical condition, living a healthy life, and becoming more happy each day. I am so privileged to know these people, many of whom are on the inspirational people on the web list.

Easy versus hard

Your belief about doing things that are easy and hard will definitely shape your life and where you will ultimately arrive. Do you love the challenge of overcoming something that is hard? Do you shy away from that which is easy in favor of difficult challenges that help you grow? Or do you seek after the easy things constantly, shying away from what is difficult as if it were a nasty fire waiting to burn you?

Think of your brain neurons as a bunch of wires. The older you get, the more wires you have. As you get older, removing or changing these wires becomes more difficult. To remove one often involves much pain and using a giant pair of shears to cut the wire (metaphorically speaking).

The human spirit—inner will and determination—is something I believe is built into our DNA. It’s dormant for many people, but I believe each one of us can tap into it. The wires I mentioned above can be ripped out and replaced with confidence and a growth that trumps conforming and adhering to the status quo.

If you have a belief in your mind that you HATE tomatoes, then eating a raw tomato is going to be HARD. Even if eating the tomato will help prevent a nasty cancer that will cause you many years of pain, the short term sight of the less-than-favorable taste of the tomato wins out. Still, this can be overcome through choice. By doing the hard thing and consuming the tomato again and again, repetition reprograms the brain and, chances are, the tomato will only help you.

Actions and reactions

If I walked up to you and said, “You’re an idiot!” that would have a profound and negative effect on most people. Similarly, if I said, “You are absolutely gorgeous!” this will have a much different effect. What is the difference? Sounds. Interpretation of the sounds. Belief in intent of the other. The reality is, you choose to feel a certain way based on what you believe someone means. Some people may like being called an idiot. And that’s their belief…

When I first did P90X, it was hard and my first reaction was to stop doing it. It was uncomfortable and the thought of working out that hard for an hour was demoralizing. A whole hour! Working out? What am I thinking! These were my thoughts at first. But I had an over-riding belief that prevented the quitting reaction. It was that I would get physically fit at any cost…

We all have different needs. I need to feel like I am contributing to the world. I need to feel like I am helping others get more out of themselves than had they not known me. Your needs may be different. But don’t ignore your needs just because they require work and effort. Jim Rohn said it best, “Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.” How true this is.

Final thoughts

Fear is a big deterrent to doing. The fear of failing or not being very good at something often prevents the first steps to something greater. Think of something you are good at. Chances are, when you first started you were not good at it. But you kept at it and mastered it.

I was watching Joel Osteen the other day on TV. He was speaking in front of a large group of people in a baseball stadium. His ability to stir people to action and interest in what he has to say is of note. Joel Osteen knows his material. He inspires and leads people. He’s certainly learned a thing or two about “The Lost Secret of Kings.”

The challenge is examining our own behavior and learning and understanding why we do and don’t do things. This is the key to unlocking our potential. This is the key to confronting our fears. We CAN over-ride a fear and go confront it. It’s a simple matter of choosing to do so…

image by wdavidmckenzie