Changes

I’ve been thinking about what to do with my website here. Should I keep it, get rid of it. I’ve written so many articles on it that it seems like it would be a shame to just get rid of it. On the other hand, there are some things that I don’t like about the website either and I don’t have a good answer for it.

My header image is outdated. This is not the website of a technology developer. It is much more about my life and thoughts than anything technology related. Yes, I work in tech and know how to write programming code, but the focus of my website has always been my learning and thoughts about life.

I’ve turned off comments on articles older than 90 days. It’s just becoming too much of a pain to moderate comments, especially on the articles where they are coming in constantly. Still, having comments on articles that are new for 90 days seems OK to me.

My back has been feeling OK recently. By OK, I mean I can walk and maybe even speed walk, light jog. But I can still feel my nerve go haywire if I do anything crazy. The vertebrae joint and disc are shot – they are degraded to the point that one day, the disc will be gone and it will just be bone on bone. I don’t want to have to wait for a visit to the ER and emergency surgery for a slipped vertebrae to crush a nerve…

I’ve been reading a lot about healing my back pain naturally. Definitely, my mind seems to play a major role in my pain and stress. I also believe that there is physics involved with my back, that eventual gravity and pressure are going to wear my vertebrae together and I’m not interested in that happening.

I’m scheduled for a spinal fusion on my L5S1 part of my spine July 22. I live alone, so I don’t have a solution yet for how I will be taken care of. In the mean time, I’ve been doing what I can to heal my back naturally. I’ve learned a lot about my mind and some of the issues I have in how I think about things.

I’m going to seek out a new header for my website here. I’m going to write more about things that the market wants. For whatever reasons, the market wants stuff about twin flames. Personally, I find the subject a bit taxing and like a horse that has been beaten to death. Yet, that’s what the people want, so should I write about that, or just the things I feel like writing about. Decisions, decisions.

That’s about it. I was seriously contemplating deleting my entire website and cancelling my hosting server contract. It’s been a few dark months laying in my bed and feeling my body waste away. The call to press on is strong though and I will do the best I can. My writing this article is pretty lackluster. The pacing and wording is sub-par. But, at least I wrote an article and made an attempt :)

Is There More To Write About?

I’ve written over 600 articles now here on my website. Much of what I write feels like a different angle on something I’ve already said. I’ve found myself coming up with an idea to write, but really, there’s something else I’ve already said that covers it. Perhaps I have said all that I need to say here on this little website of mine.

I don’t know when I’ll write something again – it may be a while. Or this may just be a short time where I’m feeling uninspired. Like the seasons I talked about recently. It’s winter here in Utah and I feel like I’ve come back to a winter in my own life. I felt incredible recently, but life is a roller coaster. You’ll feel amazing one day and smashed the next. I empathize with those who are challenged with this. Winter is the time to self reflect, think, and bear it.

Edit: it has been an hour now and I’ve already started to bounce back from this little mini winter here. I notice now that I have a bad hour or bad few hours and I just go by myself and let myself feel it – feel the depression, the anxiety, the frustration, and just allow the feelings to flow. And then my body can’t stay in that vibration for very long. After I’ve processed it all, I’m ready to keep moving forward. I’m ready to hit the gym tonight and do some amazing things. And let the winter come as it may.

Please Share This Video – Help Me Find My Cat, Dido

One of my cats got out of my apartment a couple days ago. I’ve tried many things to find her and so far, she has remained elusive. I’m hoping through the power of the Internet and sharing that someone will see her and that she will be brought back to me. Here are the details:

Dido – brown colored tortoiseshell cat. Her name is on a name tag, on her collar.

Last seen Saturday, 10/24/2015 at 1113 W 675 N Orem, UT, USA

Any info? Please call or text Jeremy, 801-473-9756.

There is a $200 reward for finding her.

Come Home, Dido

Yesterday afternoon, around 2 pm, I heard a scuffle outside with my cats. I’m taking care of my 3 cats that Heidi and I had while we were married until she finds a place with her husband that allows pets. It looks like the door was left open when I came in from shopping with my daughters. I heard a scuffle and fight with my cats.

When I went outside, the neighbors dog was being restrained and we both said sorry to each other. I saw Ator and Sneaker come inside. 20 minutes later, I realized that Dido was nowhere to be seen. My daughters and I looked everywhere in my apartment and didn’t see her.

These are some pictures of Dido:

dido

dido2

I’m hoping she comes back. With this situation, I realize that I do indeed have my full emotional capacity intact and I feel incredibly responsible as a guardian and protector for her getting out and whatever happens to her. I’ve let my neighbors know, put my shoes out on my door in hopes she will catch the scent, and posted on Instagram and Facebook. Right now, I’m just hoping she comes home. Yet again, a lesson for me that the things in life you value reveal themselves to you when they disappear from your life.

Please come home Dido. I hope you are safe and well.

Sleeping On My Last Post

I wrote a pretty intense article last night. And I had trouble sleeping. That hasn’t happened for a really long time. Where I toss and turn in bed and wonder.

I just woke up (8:45 AM) and have to get to work really quick. But I’m writing a quick follow up to that article… 1. I can’t believe I wrote it and haven’t taken it down, but I’m going to keep it up. 2. I really don’t need what I talked about in the article, but man I would love to find an answer to it. 3. It takes guts to share your vulnerabilities publicly. I have great respect for anyone who lays it all out without fear.

Ok, I’m off to work. Here’s to courage and being fearless. And a big hug to you if you are struggling with anything in your life.

Physical Training Update

It’s been a couple months since I posted an update with my progress working out with a trainer. I’m at 219 pounds and about 16.7 percent body fat now. This is getting close to my end of year goal, which is 210 pounds and 14 percent body fat. I believe a few months ago when I posted my last picture, I was at 225 pounds and 19 percent body fat.

It pays to workout with a trainer because you have someone to account to and they will watch your form and mix up the exercises for you. However, I have to admit, that I am getting accustomed enough to pushing myself that I think toward the end of the year, I won’t need a trainer anymore.

At any rate, here’s a bathroom selfie – because that’s what I do:)

Click here for the previous physical trainer update. I think I’m improving. Click the picture below to see a full sized view.

2015-04-29 19.50.55

Visions of the Future

I just had… an interesting experience. While getting ready to log off my computer tonight, I had a flash inside my head and a vision of the future for me. I’m in a room with many chairs and people in them and I’m up in front wearing a really nice suit. I have assistants helping me, and I’m speaking to very high-end clientele. Corporate executives, athletes, celebrities, people who have money for an event like this.

I’m walking around and I have some serious swagger. I’m sharing words of hope, inspiration, and knowledge with them, and working with individuals in the audience as they share their particular situation. I have a white board up front as well.

I’m not sure why this image flashed in my head, however, I don’t think anything is by chance. I do know that I want to do live events like this. I want to stand in front of people and inspire them and lead them. I know that people from all walks of life are looking for someone – a leader – to help direct them with all the chaos and challenges that life has to offer. I believe my gift is sharing words of hope, inspiration, and knowledge to help with that.

One day, this would be cool. I can certainly give it my best and see where I end up :).

What I Can Do For You

Since I was about 6 years old (30 years ago as of writing this article), I’ve been fascinated like a kid by what makes life tick and learning things. I started programming computers and making games at that age with the help of my father and have been learning non-stop since. What I’ve realized is that life is a lot more enjoyable when you are engaged in it as opposed to sitting back passively and avoiding things.

Your biggest gain by listening to me will be the ability to be exposed to new thoughts, ideas, concepts, and actual teaching of skills to you so that you can be a life wizard – someone who has a command over life because of your extensive knowledge about people and the skills you possess to bring value to the world.

Here’s what I’ll be teaching in my videos:

  • Personal skills – happiness, fulfillment, confidence, meaning, purpose.
  • Technical skills – computers, programming, websites, databases, typing
  • Problem solving – analyzing, dissecting, critical thinking, conclusions

These primary areas are what drive a life wizard and will allow you to learn, grow, and have a life of abundance. It’s your ability to use the skills you have and pick up on new skills that will propel you to the life you’ve always wanted. That’s what I teach and can do for you.

Up at 3:08 AM

Yup, that’s right, I’m up at 3:08 AM right now. I haven’t been able to sleep yet. I took my car out for a drive and came back a couple hours later. For some reason, tonight was one of those nights where floods of memories hit me and I had to leave and just drive around – far away – to a park, and stop, and walk, and run, and think, and feel.

There are some memories that stick with you – they are etched in your mind. I have many from this year that are in my mind. When you see someone next, know that they have a host of memories going on in their mind. Most of the memories I recalled tonight were good. They are my most fondest memories from this year and late last year of things that happened. Sometimes memories will keep you up all night. That’s what is happening to me.

In keeping with living in the present moment, I’ve let every memory just fill me – recalling it in detail – whether I was running, laughing, talking, you name it. If the memory was fond, I let myself cry tears of fondness and joy. If the memory was sad, I recognized it for what it was and let myself experience that emotion. My sad memories mostly pertain to things I’ve written or said where I didn’t think clearly enough before I said it. That is the challenge with communication. Once you click SEND or say the words, they have been said. My lesson for the future is to take greater care before I open my chaotic mouth.

This article is for all of you experiencing memories – especially your most fond memories. Mine hit me hard tonight and made me realize just how important it is to live in the present moment each and every second and to NEVER take anything for granted.