Speaking Your Truth – Boldly

I had an opportunity tonight, to speak my truth with a couple people. I’ve thought about this a lot actually – the situations where I feel subdued, diminished, or less of a man. Some people create that within me and especially, the women that do it, it makes me wonder why. When I feel that way, I feel knotted in my stomach and my speech is turned off. I lose my strength as a man. I don’t like the feeling…

I had a little switch go off in my head tonight regarding it. Certainly, I believe in only having people in my life that are enthusiastic to be in it. That’s important to me. But I also believe that another part of this is me communicating clearly with someone. I shouldn’t just immediately flee the scene if someone starts to treat me in a way that I know is less than what I deserve. My challenge in the past has been pushing back against this. In the past, I’d just delete that person’s phone number and move on.

But I believe there’s a higher response to this. And that is to communicate clearly what I want. Life is partly a negotiation. We only get what we speak and fight for. And tonight, I spoke clearly about what I want and expect with a couple people. I did it from a place of strength – not saying anything rude, but speaking plainly what I see and what I believe I deserve. No matter who is in contact with me, I will speak plainly if I feel I’m not getting what I deserve.

This is a different approach than I’ve taken in the past. In the past, I’ve prided myself on being able to instantly delete someone from my life and move on. But doing that ignores that I may still have interest in that person and simply just deleting them from my phone is akin to ghosting and running away. I’m also very observant of myself in being too needy with a woman, but I realize the basis for that is me acting in a way that is based on someone else and not my own strength or truth. I won’t ever be needy, but I’m going to speak up if needed.

I’ve made a rule tonight that I will communicate clearly when someone isn’t treating me the way I deserve – in person or over the phone, and I will do it in a loving, but firm way. And if they then continue their bad behavior, I will exit myself from their life until they change their treatment of me.

I think the world would be a better place if all of us communicated clearly with each other instead of running away in fear like cowards. Goodness knows, I’ve been like the cowardly lion many times, running away from a woman the instant I feel like her attraction has dropped. Or I’ve allowed a woman to treat me in a way that is less than I deserve without standing up for myself. I made a decision tonight to not do that anymore. I will not allow myself to feel diminished and I will stand up to anyone who is making me feel that way and tell them it’s not OK.

It’s a delicate balance… On the one hand, I don’t like to induce drama into any situation. On the other hand, I will not be a door mat either. As with all things, use your best judgment and follow your gut instinct. I think speaking your truth is saying exactly what it is that you want and accepting nothing less. It’s something I’m not used to doing, but believe will help me take the next leap in my life.

Here’s a little audio podcast I made with me verbalizing this. It felt good to speak it.

:) That feels good.

30 Ways To Be a Real Man and Meet a Great Woman

I felt inspired to create this 30 ways to be a real man video course from someone who I would consider an inspiration and mentor to me. It’s going to be a work in progress, but I plan on selling it online :)

Over the last couple years, I have learned a great deal through experiences, study, and failing. This guide is going to have a video and article for all 30 ways to be a real man and meet a great woman. Each day, you will incorporate a new philosophy, which you will practice for the rest of your life.

Why did I create this name for the course? Well, I think most men want to be great and meet a great woman, but may not have clarity in how to do it. Through my experience, this is how it is done.

  1. Inner peace comes from an acceptance of reality regardless of how you want it to be
  2. Be willing to put in the work even when you don’t feel like it
  3. Take an interest in what is going on around you
  4. Begin the process of dating
  5. Begin the process of sculpting your body
  6. Find a clothing style that represents you
  7. Start an online blog and personal website
  8. Meditate often
  9. Cold approach people – often
  10. Supercharge your ambitions and career
  11. Create, create, create
  12. Be considerate, but go after what you want without apology
  13. Be willing to lose it all
  14. Find the music that moves you
  15. Learn from those who are where you want to be – the life wizards
  16. Be a renaissance man
  17. Tap into your masculine core and know what you want
  18. Learn to be playful, banter, and like James Bond
  19. Be a rock solid mountain
  20. Be a dominant man
  21. Begin the process of journaling
  22. Have a high standard for what you want
  23. Walk the path to the strongest version of yourself
  24. Embrace the pain to temper you like steel
  25. See the opportunity in every situation
  26. Be fully content with being with just yourself
  27. Feel and process every emotion
  28. Be enthusiastically interested in others
  29. Be detached to be at peace
  30. Each day is your last – do all that you feel

I’ll be working on each of these and as they become available, I’ll create a link to click to the article. When the course is done, there should be some solid content for any looking to make a major life change. I’ve been there. These things have worked wonders for me and I know they’ll do the same for any man looking to own his masculine core and attract a great woman :).

Somebody Pinch Me

Somebody pinch me. For I feel like I am living in a dream world and I am becoming both the character and creator of my reality. All that I am desiring and wishing is coming to fruition. I attribute this to the hard work I’ve put in over the last couple years to become a stronger version of myself. That work is akin to going to hell alone and fighting demons and devils without any assistance. I feel like I’ve come back from hell and have both a story to tell and a gift to give others.

I love – absolutely love giving of my new-found strength to others. I realize that what I’ve done over the last couple years is incredibly rare – that most men aren’t willing to face their shadow self and do the slow-going self work to evolve and become a real man. I love observing reality and seeing where I can help others and be a rock for them. There are special people in my life, each in a unique way that I feel so grateful to have in my life and that I can provide what I can for them.

I want to share a screenshot from “The Witcher 3” a computer game I am playing right now. In it, Geralt is an adventurer. He slays monsters, saves maidens, gains in power, and forms a deep bond and connection with powerful sorceresses. It’s scary how close this is to what I think reality is like for me. I feel like the adventurer, Geralt, and I have a gift to share. And those I share it with are getting a rare gift and it is my pleasure to share it with them.

geralt_and_triss

This image is of Geralt of Rivia and Triss Merigold, a powerful sorceress. The Witcher story is as close to what I view myself as in reality. Geralt is a “Witcher”, an augmented being with super speed and strength, magic capability, who slays monsters, goes on quests, and in the series connects with a few special people, one of which, is the powerful sorceress, Triss Merigold. I love the story from these games and am enjoying part 3.

Life is very good. Of course there are challenges still, but living authentically with what I feel my life should be like is causing a happiness and abundance in me that is really starting to make life feel like it is make-believe for me.

Awakening

It’s very hard to describe what is happening right now, but it feels really good. I feel like my eyes have been opened and I am experiencing the result of where my amazing journey has taken me to this place. I feel good. Happy, and I’m excited to see where this goes :)

Continuous Meditation

meditating

That’s me, meditating at an Oxygen bar in Las Vegas, February, 2016!

I’ve recently discovered a sound track of meditation that I constantly listen to now. I’ve embedded the YouTube for you here to listen. You may think I’m a complete nutso, but this music speaks to me. I took the entire 4 hours and put it on my phone and I listen to it all the time now.

Yes, whenever I get a chance, I put the music on and listen to it. I do it in the morning, during my morning work time, at lunch time, in the afternoon, when I get home, while I’m working at home, while I’m driving and while I’m out and about walking around.

This is continuous meditation – the act of putting yourself into a present state where you feel what is going on in your body – good or bad – and allow yourself to feel it at all times. You focus on accepting yourself as you are and that you are enough. You breathe and ask your brain what you will think of next. This tricks the brain into not thinking of anything and helps you be more present.

Wherever I go, I have my earphones with me and my phone, ready to put this music on and focus. Doing this constantly helps ground and center me from the challenges of life. You may be reading this article, but you don’t see the challenges I face each day as I go out and about. I face difficulties just like anyone else and this continuous meditation helps me recover incredibly fast from setbacks.

Your quest: Get a phone with head phones and get the MP3’s for all these sound tracks from the YouTube video (they are listed in the description of the YouTube video) and listen to them regularly while focusing on deep breaths and that you are an amazing person who is capable of so many great things. You are learning and growing each day. Peace to you, seeker, as you meditate, ground your energy, and become a better version of yourself.

Rebirth

This last week was a rebirth for me. I just felt like I had broken out of a cocoon and morphed into this new being. It’s hard to describe, except I’ll say that the change involves me being more present to the moment, less judgmental of myself, more forgiving of others, and excited about life and what is going on for me.

I went and took some pictures with an amazing photographer recently (thanks Tracy!). They capture what I already feel – how happy and joyful I feel about life right now and the progress I’ve made. Life is what you make it and it is very good. Here’s a picture that describes the rebirth for me. I feel relaxed, comfortable, and I internalize my approval and validation. Mmmmmm, yeah :).

jer13

Intensity

Intensity

I’m at work and taking a short break to write this article. It’s 11:47 PM. That makes for a long work day of 16 hours! :) I write this article because I’m working on an extremely important project that is a huge deal for the business in terms of $. The piece of this project I am working on is due tomorrow and therefore, I’m up right now as a steward, helping resolve any last minute issues there might be.

Today was intense. It was a constant go-go-go of making sure a hundred and one things were working. It made me sweat. I liked it. Even now, I feel the intensity of this project needing to be delivered tomorrow and that there is no delaying it. It must be ready tomorrow no matter what.

With the intensity and responsibility I feel pressure. But I don’t feel stressed. Not really. I’m not afraid of what could happen. The lessons in detachment that I’ve learned since on my own are proving to be very powerful here. I can think and speak clearly and calmly about what the issues are and am able to look through them now without feeling rushed. I may not sleep at all tonight and am OK with that fact.

I feel what is like the force of this hurricane hitting me, but I feel strong and steadfast in the winds and focusing clearly on a successful result regardless of the challenge. I believe challenges cause people to rise to their full potential. It’s why life is a struggle – to help us all rise to the occasion to become more than we are. The struggle is real and it is a gift.

It’s funny, all these dates I’ve gone on and the multitude of “rejections” I’ve had are proving valuable at my place of work and in all areas of my life. I’m not afraid of what could happen if I don’t deliver tomorrow. Yet, I will give all I possibly have to achieve delivery. But I’m not afraid of being fired. I’m not afraid of being homeless. I cannot be swayed by outcomes anymore. What a blessing the dating journey is proving to be for me in my life right now.

You may have moments of intensity in your life. Moments where it is the 4th quarter with 1 minute to go and the game is tied and you must perform and seal the deal. I feel like that right now. Tired, exhausted, battered by the storm, but resilient and focused to make the right outcome. Rwar! Let’s do this!

A Leader of Men

King Leonidas

This past week was a good one. I faced a multitude of challenges at work that I knew were coming the weekend before. I remember having a tight feeling in my gut wondering how I would measure up to the challenges. I meditated and focused on positive self talk and having a clear vision of success for the week. I played trance music and allowed myself time and space to focus on what the best version of myself looks like.

When I got into work Monday, that energy carried over to how I acted. I faced many unknowns, but the good thing was that I was optimistic and moved forward with a solution oriented mindset and inspiration that my group has the skill and talent to solve the problems ahead and that we would be “victorious”. This wasn’t said with delusion but with conviction as I see the talent and skill of the people in my group and I have full faith and trust in their ability.

By the end of Friday I looked back on the week and realized that I had grown tremendously in just this week. It’s not to say that I’m this perfect being who can will into existence whatever I wish, but I must admit, that I felt a power this week to “bend reality to my will” through my own conviction and utilizing the skill of those around me.

This leads me to the point of this article and that is looking at the best version of myself. The best version of myself is a leader of men (and women). He knows where he is going in his life and he courageously and without apology leads and moves forward toward overcoming any obstacles. He inspires and motivates those around him. Motivation is a currency. It is what stirs others to action. A leader of men is both skilled at his craft and is a strong motivator.

That guy up there – that’s King Leonidas from the movie, “300”. In that movie, King Leonidas is faced with the daunting fact that he, 300 of his finest warriors, and a band of militia are all that stand in the way of the limitless hordes of Xerxes, the “god king” of Persia. The concept of those odds is so overwhelming, yet King Leonidas sees a solution and places his soldiers at just the right location so that the Persian hordes must come through a narrow passage in order to get to Greece. He and his soldiers beat off wave after wave of enemy attacks until the king and his men are betrayed and ultimately slaughtered.

That’s the epitome of a leader of men. He motivated an entire army against impossible odds because he believed in what he was doing. He had vision of how inspiring the act of he and his men would be and it led to a final victory for Dilios and a large army of Spartans and Greeks against the final hordes of Persia.

I memorized the final speech of the movie 300 because I found it so inspiring. Here it is, Dilios speaking to a council of Spartans and then panning to him speaking to his army in the final battle against Persia at Platea:

He did not wish tribute. Nor song. Nor monuments. No poems of war and valor. His wish was simple: Remember us, he said to me. That was his hope. Should any free soul come across that place, in all the countless centuries yet to be. May all our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones:

Go tell the Spartans, passer by, that here by Spartan law we lie.

And so, my king died. And my brothers died. Barely a year ago. Long I pondered my king’s cryptic talk of victory. Time has proven him wise. For from free Greek to free Greek, the word was spread that bold Leonidas and his 300, so far from home, laid down their lives – not just for Sparta, but for all Greece and the promise this country holds.

Now, here on this ragged patch of earth called Platea, Xerxes hordes face obliteration! Haua!

Just there, the barbarians huddle. Sheer terror gripping tight. Their hearts, with icy fingers, knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of 300.

Yet they stare now, across the plains, at 10,000 Spartans commanding 30,000 free Greeks. Haua, Haua, Haua!

The enemy outnumber us a paltry 3 to 1. Good odds for any Greek. This day, we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny, and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine. Give thanks men, to Leonidas and the brave 300, to victory!

I love speaking my view points and philosophy to any and all who will listen. That philosophy is this:

Life is what you make it. Life is an adventure. Your philosophy and outlook on life determine your energy, attitude, and direction. I’ve had both a poor and a powerful philosophy at times and I can see the difference in each. Be a sponge in life, continuously soaking up whatever information you can and then go out and take action and see for yourself how things work. It is the combination of learning and taking in information and then going out and taking action that creates a valuable person who can contribute to society in a positive way.

I suppose this is why I am reading all the time. It’s why I go out to the mall, restaurants, bars, parks, streets, and strike up conversations with strangers. It’s why I do cold approach pickup with women – one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I learn so much by going out and stretching myself, not doing it to get anything, but to challenge myself and grow in my ability to be social, meet people, build rapport, and ultimately become one of influence and a leader. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but nothing worth it is ever easy.

A leader of men has a strong masculine core. He knows where he is going and welcomes those who wish to join him along for the ride. He maintains a consistent demeanor regardless of what challenges and tests come his way. I feel great progress in the last year and I believe this year will bring even greater progress. I’m happy, content, and excited about what lies ahead. For the first time in my life, I believe I am understanding what true masculine energy is like – moving forward with purpose, vision, and unwavering.

My Cat Dido Has Returned Home

Last night, I got a phone call while I was working on my computer. I was planning on going to the gym, but I found myself delaying that because I was so interested in what I was working on. I didn’t recognize the number, but I answered it anyway.

The call was from someone saying they think they saw my missing cat, Dido. It turns out, this woman lived across the street and down one apartment. She said they saw Dido sitting on their porch. So I immediately threw on my sweatshirt and went out into the cold to meet this woman.

It turns out, Dido had scattered off, but was likely in the area. So I went back inside to put on some warmer clothes, get some soft cat food, which I know Dido likes, and my phone for a flashlight. After a few minutes looking around, the woman said she saw Dido underneath some stairs going up. I shined my phone light and there she was. I knew it was her because of her collar.

This woman’s boyfriend was also helping us and I gave him the soft cat food while I shined the flashlight. I called Dido and she immediately started meowing over and over. She came to the soft cat food, and then to me. Once she was by me, I started petting her and then grabbed her. I told the two helping me find Dido that I would be right back – I had Dido and wanted to get her inside my apartment.

I recall Dido letting me carry her. She didn’t fight being held like she usually does. She meowed so much more than I’ve ever heard her do. Her fur is also in a bunch of knots and very coarse. Usually she has very smooth fur. She has some indentations in her fur and I can tell she’d been in a couple scuffles.

Once I got Dido inside, Ator and Sneaker (my two other cats), immediately hissed, not recognizing that it was Dido at first. Still, I left her inside and went back to the woman and her boyfriend who first spotted Dido. I told them I wanted to give them their reward (it was $200 from my flyer), and I went to the WinCo nearby and got the cash for them.

I gave them the cash and they told me thank you and to go spend time with my kitty. I did so and felt gratitude for them for spotting Dido and calling me. I gave them their $200 reward and wished them well. I’m sure I’ll talk to them again, they live really close.

I went back inside and immediately started petting Dido and she meowed over and over. She’s still meowing all the time when I’m here and she’s even going up to me, wanting to be petted. This behavior is so different than before she had been on her own outside in the cold. Dido would always run away from me and it was difficult to pet her. The change is that she purrs up to me, meows, and wants me to pet her.

Dido changed when she was out on her own. I have no doubt that her being out in the cold for a month changed her perception about how good she had it while she was in my apartment. In my apartment, I pay the gas, electricity, refill the water and food, and pet her. It’s a REALLY GOOD life. When she was out on her own in the cold, I believe she started to gain an appreciation for the life she had before.

I think this lesson applies to us as humans. I’m still in the process of healing and becoming whole and I remember how shitty I felt last year for about 7 months. When you’ve hit rock bottom, you start to appreciate the good times. You realize that good memories are important and not to take things for granted. I know my life can change in an instant and everything I have could be taken away.

I’m grateful Dido, my cat, is back home. I can see a change in her demeanor. She is showing affection now instead of running away from me. I had made peace with never seeing her again. I cried briefly when I found her, but mostly, I felt gratitude and thanks that she was safe. It was a happy reunion.

Here’s a video of her in my apartment, shortly after she had been found. What a good kitty.