I recently posted on my Facebook profile page that I recognize the importance of following proven formulas for success. Since the creation of this website about a year and a half ago, I have spent 95% of my time trying things on the fly. So I’m going to use a formula I recently learned for this article, future articles, and new videos and we’ll see if a proven formula really does help.
The message I will be sharing is intended for those who are struggling in their life and trying to find some sort of guidance. If you or someone you know is feeling miserable. If they are feeling like there is no hope. If they find negativity at every corner. And finally, if this person is actively looking for guidance and willing to take a few action steps, then this is the audience.
I find that I get emails from my DrJerm website frequently from people in India. I’m not exactly sure why this is. Perhaps it is the large population. Perhaps it is there is not as much freedom. Whatever the reason it is, I get a few a week. Here’s an example of one (name made anonymous and edited/condensed for formatting and clarity):
Hello Jermi. I’m [Anonymous] and am 17 years old. I have been a big loser my whole life. I have always struggled to be happy. My parents and teachers have lots of expectations. I work hard and never cheat on my exams. I study late and get up early. I don’t have friends. I feel like a failure even though I work hard. God is sucking all my strength away and I am left with nothing. God is cruel. I am an honest person, why is God so unfair?
This person, and the many others I get emails from, are really in a difficult place in life. They are looking for any kind of help or hope to give them reason to believe life is worth living. When I get emails like this, it breaks my heart. It really tugs and pulls at me. Because if there is a few emailing me from my simple website, then there are probably thousands of people in this same boat.
I believe the need for someone in this situation is very simple: Connect and listen. Then share simple and practical steps that are doable, which I have done in my own life. By showing my credibility in what I have overcome, I believe I can help people in this situation.
Show Credibility and Relate
I can relate to someone struggling like this. When I was a young man growing up in Kalamazoo, Michigan, I was a shy, directionless person. In fact, my shyness led me to have extremely sweaty hands all throughout my younger years. I remember doing an activity in middle school (when I was about 13) and we had to hold hands around the classroom. I frantically wiped my hands on my pants trying to dry them, but it was not enough. The boy to my left grabbed my hand and quickly retracted his saying, “Man you got some sweaty hands.” The class laughed and I was extremely embarrassed.
I can also remember in 9th grade my science teacher calling on me to read. I was so nervous to read out loud in front of the class that I shouted that I had to throw up and ran out of the classroom. Moments like these were very common in my younger years.
It doesn’t stop there. I was 50 pounds overweight in my 20’s. My self-esteem remained very low for the first 30 years of my life. I was always completely worried what people thought of me. It took me 30 years to finally start to turn my life around!
In my early 30’s, I started to change my thinking, adopt better habits, and begin the course to a better life. This course to a better life is within everyone’s reach and that is what I offer you – the simple course to a better life that I’ve been able to implement. I have my websites, businesses, speaking engagements, and upcoming book as successes to share with you to help breed my credibility.
When I look at people who are struggling, particularly those in India, it seems that the younger generation is having a tough time. That is those who are about 16 – 25 approximately. It seems it is those who are going to school and feel like nobody understands them and their hard work. Now I know this isn’t the only demographic, but it does give me some sense of where I can be very specific.
When I think back to the struggles of my own life, my biggest challenges were:
- Not knowing I could change my life for the better or overcome my fears.
- Thinking that complaining was the only thing I could do.
- Not feeling like anybody could relate to or help me.
I did not know I could conquer my panic attacks from reading out loud in front of people or doing public speaking. I did not know I could become confident and happy. I only knew how to complain. Finally, I did not feel like anyone understood me or could relate to me.
I think a young person in India struggling probably feels the same way. They feel hopeless and like nobody can help. When they contact me, I believe there is a spark of belief that someone might be able to do something for them.
The great news for a struggling person who feels no hope and is working hard and feels like nobody can relate to them is that there is hope. It is possible to overcome the fears, stress, and difficulty. And the solution is not complex. It does not require any money. It simply requires doing something every day until it becomes habit and a part of you. To me, this is exciting because the solution is within reach.
There are many simple things that can be done to break out of the hopeless life. They range from positive self talk, exercise, educating, serving others, working on confidence, and beginning creation of something. These are just a few.
Top Three Keys
The top three things I share with people who are struggling are the following:
- Get started with positive self talk daily. Begin to dig out the garbage of negativity that has entrenched itself in the persons mind.
- What is the person most passionate and good at – following the Hedgehog Concept. We come to a decision of what this is.
- Get started exercising, breathing, and drinking water. Very simply to start with – just getting out and walking, drinking more water, and taking time to take deep breaths each day.
The top three keys here only take about 20 minutes each day when someone is just starting. It’s exciting to me to know that 20 minutes can literally turn a life around where there is no hope, to a life where there is something to live for. It’s simple to get started and because the target audience is looking for help, they are usually willing to try.
Call To Action
This is where I get specific and tell someone exactly what to do who is struggling. Every morning when you get up, start with positive self talk scripts. I’ve linked to many examples for you to help you understand and get started. Say it out loud to yourself, or read it if you live with people and don’t want to disturb them.
Second, after your self talk, take a walk for 10 minutes and focus on the positive self talk. Let it become part of who you are. When negative thoughts creep in, replace them with the positive self talk dialog. Use this time to also do deep breathing and really take in fresh air.
Third, start drinking more water. Most people drink about 1/2 to 1/3 of the water they need to stay hydrated and alert. Keep a water bottle with you at all times. Every few hours, that water bottle should be empty and need to be refilled. When you urinate, the urine should be close to clear.
These are the steps that got me started. When I started positive self talk regularly and began to change the dialog with myself, a whole new world was opened up. It led me to where I am today, and I know it will do for you. So follow these three simple steps every morning and I know over time, you will change your life.
- Leaning Into The Unknown Experiences
- Needing Help
- A Response to Emotional Self Reliance
- Learning to Accept Reality
- Podcast – Introduction To Positive Self Talk