Inner peace comes from an acceptance of reality, regardless of how you would like it to be.
One of my favorite TV episodes of the show, Star Trek – the Next Generation, is where a hologram (Professor Moriarty) actually becomes a conscious entity and takes over the ship. He begins to exert his control and the crew have to creatively find a way to stop him. In the end, the crew cleverly finds a way to make him believe he’s still on the ship, but is actually living in an illusionary world on a large device like a computer. The hologram believes his reality is different than it actually is.
This got me thinking today about my own life and perhaps I can share a couple things about how I (or you) delute ourselves. I find that I often want reality to be different than it actually is. This is especially true if I like someone. I’ll try to reach out, say something funny, but in the end, reality always wins and you can see what that reality is by just looking at a person’s actions or how they speak.
In the past, I got a tremendous amount of pain by being delusional about the truth of what reality was. Thankfully, as I’ve aged another year, I’ve learned to make peace with reality. And that means that even if I’m really interested in something or someone, that if they aren’t interested back, I stop the chase. I cease forward momentum. And I make peace with what reality is.
This isn’t to say that I immediately stop wanting. I think wanting is human nature. But wanting and going after something that isn’t reciprocating or giving back is a recipe for pain. You’ll wonder why with all the effort you are putting in why that thing or person is not giving back. And then you’ll start to hurt because of the effort and investment your are putting in, which isn’t coming back. We’re emotional creatures, us humans, and anything you spend significant time or energy on starts to become something you care about.
It’s like continually putting your money in a stock that ALWAYS loses money. And you keep doing it because you just hope that it will change some day, when in reality, that stock is never going to return anything to you. I remember an oil stock several years ago that I had this mindset with. I kept believing it would have its big, breakout day, but it never did. And I eventually sold and lost a few thousand dollars once I understood reality. Today, that stock is a fraction of even what I sold it at, so thank god I sold when I did.
As a man, I believe first and foremost that I am to be like a rock solid mountain and always a source of strength against whatever comes my way. Whenever I see reality being different than I would like, I remind myself that I am strength and that I can absorb the situation even if it isn’t what I would like. It’s akin to throwing a rock against a mountain. The mountain barely notices and does not move.
Your quest: Examine your life and what you may be being delusional about. This requires honesty and stepping outside of yourself. As a leader, you should always look to make things better than they are, but you must also have the wisdom to know the difference between what is possible, and what is real.
- Poem – Little Sea Ship Star
- Feeling a Void
- Somebody Pinch Me
- The World Needs You
- The Future of Your Computer