As I wrote yesterday about the fire hose effect and taking some time to go off and disconnect from writing, I feel compelled to write – as if some force is pulling me saying that I must keep writing about my life and experiences because some day, I am going to be glad I did. I still feel I need to take a break – but the pull to write and share is stronger, but I have to admit, I feel such a strong pull to continue writing that the journey of life is only just beginning for me. And so I will.
First, let me write about some things I like, love, and are important to me in my life. I will write from my optimistic view point because I believe things happen for a reason and that nobody knows what’s going to happen even in a week, let alone in years.
I love the chance to have a chance each and every day – to learn, do better, learn from my mistakes, and perhaps do it right today whereas yesterday I didn’t do so right. Each day I wake up, I’m happy I get to give life another chance. My goal is to live each day with no regrets. I’ve lived this year with no regrets so far – except one regret – and that is the hurt I’ve caused people I care about. That’s not too bad for 7 1/2 months – to only have one regret – albeit a big one. I sure hope some day that things will align to correct this.
I love playing basketball. There’s nothing quite so fun as playing with a group of people who also love to play and are competitive – but in good spirit. I love swishing a three pointer. I love making a great pass to someone. I love soaring for a rebound and then taking the ball up the court like Magic Johnson as a point guard and making a play for one of my teammates.
I love to write and share my feelings. Sometimes I share too much. Sometimes I write an article that really wasn’t the best thing to write about. I’ve taken down articles where I’ve done that – where I get a knot in my stomach wondering what I was thinking. I have some personal documents of my experiences and those have helped me through some dark times this year. It’s funny, when things are going blissful, I’m not as compelled to write, but when the darkness hits, like right now I feel it, I am much more inclined to write. I’m going to promise myself that when I get out of the darkness, I will still continue to write about the good things happening, because I think good things are worth writing about.
I love to laugh – I haven’t laughed enough in the past few months. Sometimes I’ll pull up YouTube videos that I know are funny and just laugh – or try to laugh at least. I love laughing with people I care about. There’s nothing quite like laughing with someone hard about something where you both love it.
I love to reflect. I reflect OFTEN about what I write. Sometimes I wonder if I should have written what I did. Sometimes I wonder if I’m saying things I should or should not. But usually, I write as I am inspired and then I reflect about what I write. I continue to reflect on this year a lot. The course of my life has changed and I know that I’ve also altered the course of other’s lives as well.
Most of all, I love to think of a happy future where things work out OK and those I know are happy. I think of a future where any hurt I’ve caused has healed. I think of a future where my pain is gone and I am in a place of importance for society where I can convey with strength, dignity, and pure love. I think about pure love – with pure love, you always put another before yourself… I haven’t always done that.
I will continue to write as I have thoughts I believe to be inspired. I won’t write unless I feel it is from a place of pure love. I am sending out love, care, and support to you. I’m not perfect… not even close. But I continue to try :)