Stand Up For Yourself

spartanThere’s instances in life where you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of someone else’s passive-aggressive behavior or some kind of drama. Whatever it is, I have a few insights from my own life that will help you handle these situations. The first thing to think of is never let anyone treat you poorly. Anyone who is not willing to at least talk to you, or talk through things with you, or to speak in a civil and rational tone to you is treating you poorly and you should handle the situation by not apologizing, but instead saying, “You’re obviously upset. When you’re ready to talk through things, contact me.” Then walk away and continue on with your life. For the people who don’t value you, their parting gift is the gift of missing you.

It’s interesting to me because I always thought that the best way to respond to someone who was treating me poorly, not communicating, or being passive-aggressive is to say sorry and let them continue with that. But part of my learning in my own life – through my own experience is that if someone can’t or won’t talk to you, or won’t speak civilly, simply tell them, “Hey, when you’re ready to talk and communicate properly, contact me.” Moving forward, this will be my approach. I can’t go back in the past and change what is the past of course – I’ve been a little wishy washy in my approaches as well… I haven’t always treated others fairly so I stand as the accused in this as well, but I can move forward with this new philosophy. I value myself and what I have to offer…

I also think about myself at my place of employment. Right now, I’m doing a lot more than I have before and I am taking over my former boss’ position. The company is paying me much less than him and there has been no discussion with me about what the future might be like. Now, I know I have to prove myself, but I am starting to realize that if I’m leading a team like a Director and adding value to the business in that way, there should be a mention of getting paid for what that is worth. It’s been over 3 months now and I realize I am a valuable person, great leader, and can help bring people to change. It’s not unreasonable to expect something for that effort while knowing I need to produce at the same time.

Non Attached Feelings

To stand up for yourself, go after the things you want in your life with non attached feelings. It’s OK to want things or to be with other people. But don’t attach yourself to some kind of outcome with that person. If things aren’t working out, the non attached person gracefully accepts that and continues on with their life.

This also applies to job interviews. You can have a desire to work for a company and project yourself with confidence. If you don’t get the job or are not called back, don’t fret over it. Move on to the next opportunity.

Jim Rohn said it best and I paraphrase, “Success is something we attract by the type of person we become. Success is not something you pursue.” Every time in my life I’ve tried to pursue something as an attachment, it goes away, like a mirage in the desert, it simply disappears. Any time I’ve removed my attached feelings toward something, it gets closer. It’s really a marvelous principle of life.

Work On Yourself

To stand up for yourself, work on yourself. Do the things in your life to increase your confidence, physical fitness, mental focus, and social and communication skills. This is the best way to help yourself – work on yourself first and then move toward the things in your life that you want with non attached loving thoughts.

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