Tinder is a fascinating technology app for the mobile phone or tablet. Its concept is very simple. You use it to meet people. Make a profile, put some of your Facebook pictures in it, write some text, choose an age range for people you want to meet – usually of the opposite sex. Enter the mile range within your location and presto, you’re presented with others in that mile range who have created a profile. For each one, tap the X or the Heart and if you both tapped the heart, you matched and can message inside the app.
When I moved out in October 2014 as a single man, I decided I would go out and meet people – not looking for anything serious, but to get out there and exercise my courage muscle and meet some people. I’ve done this by approaching people in person and using Tinder. Tinder has been one of the most fascinating and growth-oriented experiences of my life. I can’t say enough good about Tinder from my stand point. I’ve interacted with over 100 matches with a variety of interests inside the app. I’ve met in person 7 of these people with more likely to come in the future. Each new person is a chance for me to sharpen my saw, learn, and hopefully offer a great experience for the other person.
I’m sure I will meet someone eventually that knocks my socks off and that will be interesting when that time comes how that evolves.
I’ve picked up on some things during this period and I’ll speak from a man’s perspective. Whether you are using Tinder to just make friends, go out on dates, or to find someone to, eh hem, hook up with, the tips are all very similar. Here they are:
Use Pictures That Show You Clearly, No Matter How You Look
As I’ve talked to women through messaging in the app and in person, one of the big complaints is that guys have sunglasses on, hats on, have blurry pictures, are in groups where it’s hard to tell who the guy is, or the guy is really far away. As a man, own who you are. Whoever you are, own that with a smile on your face and a positive attitude. Show that you’re fun and make it clear who you are. Otherwise, you look insecure. Good pictures. Get them – even if it’s just you sitting down in front of your web cam. I have several pictures just sitting in front of my web cam with a nice shirt on with my scruff and that has worked fine for me.
Write a Description That States Your Interests
Another thing – Tinder lets you write a description below your profile. When the women are browsing the guys, they’ll see what you’ve written underneath there. Women like to have some kind of commonality with a guy – some kind of common connection. List what you like. For me, I list a bunch of things. Here they are: I like laughing, trying new things, sports, health, fitness, tech, hike, bike, investing, public speaking, yoga, being a free spirit, lots of things. I really do like all those things and more. So I list them. It shows I have a diverse life. If you don’t have a diverse life, get interested in some things and engaged in this thing called life. If you like guns, own it and put that on there, for instance.
Have Some Respect
I’ve had too many women tell me that guys message them immediately asking for sex or just to get busy. It’s sickening to me. I think a real man should first get to know someone first, lead the interaction, but do it in a respectful way. It’s selfish of a man to just want sex right away – it shows that he’s thinking only of himself. The man who can refrain from that and speak to a woman as a person and get to know her is going to have a huge advantage. It’s how I’ve been able to communicate so well with most of my matches and meet many in person. I show respect, say something funny or humorous about their profile, and ask to talk in person. Sometimes they can, sometimes they can’t, but I always ask to talk in person if they respond back to me because in person communication is so much more richly rewarding to me than text.
Go For It
Lastly, always go for it. If you match with someone and they seem interesting, message them and get to know them. If they’re talking back, that’s a good sign. Setup a time and place and be very specific. Ask for their phone number so that you can message if needs be outside of Tinder. A text message is more powerful than Tinder because someone is now a contact in your phone if you have their number and vice versa. Be bold and take the risk. I’ve been rejected and unmatched when I’ve done this. Being unmatched is an option in Tinder. You can select someone where you’ve matched up and unmatch them. But I don’t look at it as something wrong with me. It’s the other person projecting some insecurity in their decision making.
Tinder is a technological wonder. And if you can act like a respectful man, be interesting and playful, you’ll beat 95% or more of the other guys out there who seem to not have a clue at all. If you can show that you’re a man who has done the work on himself, you will have options and even have to turn women down. Read my articles and watch my videos here on my website, they work!
I love the Tinder app and the rich conversations and experiences I’ve had from it so far. It’s amazing I can meet people in a 75 mile radius where there is a mutual match at first where interests are aligned. Get Tinder if you want to meet people. It’s great!
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