Look Within For Validation

Recently, I wrote about know your value and self worth. I’m going to expand this topic and talk about the importance of looking within for validation. This means all value, happiness, self worth, drive, passion, and thought about yourself comes from within and only within. Certainly others can help enhance your life, but at the end of the day, you decide to feel good about yourself.

In The Four Agreements, the core philosophy is to be detached, not take things personally, be impeccable, and give life your best. One of the greatest philosophies I’ve come across is to get your validation and self worth from you and you alone. This means that whether someone says something positive to you about how handsome or pretty you are – how amazing you are, or whether a person tells you to screw off and get away from them – each of these are ways people can interact with you and each of these should be treated equally – with a grain of salt.

What does that mean? It means compliments are great, however, compliments and negative responses from people should not affect your core being. This creates in you a centered strength that is like a mountain – see, be the rock solid mountain for more on that. Think of positive and negative comments as the wind that blows trying to move you off your center. Stay centered from you and nothing else. This will help you in many situations, like the following:

  • You lose your job.
  • Someone stands you up.
  • You receive a great award.
  • You trip and spill hot cocoa all over yourself.
  • You get a work promotion.

Notice that some of these are “good” and some are “bad”. It’s irrelevant – these are just events in life. When something good happens in your life, reward yourself. Give yourself a compliment. When something bad happens, smile at it and say, “hum, wasn’t that interesting.”

Look to yourself for validation and nobody else. You must participate in your own rescue.

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