Time Teaches

There’s no greater teacher or force in the world than time. Time ticks along with or without our consent and it’s up to each of us as individuals to decide (or not decide) what to do with that time. Even as I sit here writing this article, I see the clock on my computer tick. 8:09 PM, now 8:10 PM. Time waits for and obeys no man or woman.

Time has been the great teacher for me over the last year. When I think about the months of March through September of last year, I started a transformation personally and in my life that would alter my course permanently. Even in October when I was out on my own and feeling my strength as a man return, I can look back and realize I still hadn’t learned all that time was meant to teach me.

Since October, I’ve undertaken another journey of sorts – living on my own for the first time in eons. I’m able to bear two financial burdens, for myself, and for Heidi and my two girls, and I do this from a place of strength. Most people are shocked when I tell them how much I pay in Alimony and Child Support. I don’t look at it that way. Heidi is an awesome person and we shared many good memories and had two kids together. It’s my privilege to provide for her and my two girls and I feel it would be selfish to do otherwise.

Selfish, that’s a word I want to talk about. As I’ve gone on more adventures and met more people than I can now count since October, I’ve learned about my own selfishness as a man and my lack of ability in being able to consider other people first and their emotions, feelings, and circumstances. It was recently that I discovered and had my eyes opened to my extreme selfishness.

I feel that being on my own, having to care for myself completely, and providing what I need to, and the interactions I’ve had with others have helped me see and learn this valuable lesson. That I’ve been selfish. And I admit it freely and in a detached way. I don’t need anyone to say anything to me about it. It is simply me putting out this truth to the universe and feeling happy that I am now on a path to be selfless – one who serves, uplifts, and inspires other people.

I’m by no means perfect. God no… But it is the realization of the experiences I’ve had over the last year or so now that time has taught me and I’ve learned that a portion of the grief and pain I felt in the past only happened because I had selfish feelings. What a powerful realization and I’m truly grateful to have learned this.

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