What do you do if someone tells you never to contact them again? How do you handle this? I know that some of you have had this happen and it’s a bit of a shock. But, let’s try and find some ideas here and try to get through it at least! Here’s some situations you might be in:
– What if your best friend says you are a boo boo head and to go away and never come back?
– What if your Siamese twin slices you off of them with a machete and tells you to go find someone else to bother? (Note to self: find a picture of this!)
– What if your soul mate tells you that they have no interest ever again interacting with you and to go jump in a lake?
– What if your German Shepherd dog walks up to you and smacks you with its tail and then runs away and never comes back again?
– What if your imaginary friends tell you that they can’t stand you anymore and vanish, never to come back again?
– How do you handle such a situation?
You Can Contact Them Again
Well, there’s always the option of… Trying to contact them again :). But remember, you can’t go back and load a saved game in life. Chances are, if whoever or whatever has told you to go away, they mean it, and regardless of the reasoning behind it, it’s a good idea to honor that request.
If you’re like me, you feel challenged wondering what you could say or do to change their mind. Or you wonder what is REALLY going through their head. So you think about contacting them. But don’t go there. The last thing you want is some guys to show up at your door step in black suits carrying ray guns ready to take you away. Best to send love from a distance and LISTEN and HONOR their request.
It’s kind of interesting – when I researched this online about what people felt when someone told them never to contact them again, the only people posting online were the people who had been told by someone else never to contact the other person again. There wasn’t anyone posting saying, “I told so and so never to contact me again.” It’s just the people who had been kicked to the curb that were searching for answers.
It makes sense. If someone gives someone the boot, they (the booter) aren’t going to try and think about it anymore if they can help it, whereas the bootee (the one booted) is going to try and get some answers. Mostly it was guys who pushed too hard with a girl that had gotten the boot, after contacting them hundreds of times, they were finally disconnected from. Which makes me feel pretty good actually in my own self control I’ve been able to have with my own situation.
You Can Listen and Do It
If someone tells you never to contact them again, you could show you are a good listener and never do it again. I know you’re itching to respond again and unlock the reason why the person has said it. The truth is, it doesn’t matter why they’ve said it. They may hate your guts, they may be so pissed off at you or them self or both or the thought of you that they cannot stand to interact with you ever again. They may be trying to protect you, them self, or both. It really doesn’t matter why they said it. Most people mean what they say, so honoring that request is a good idea.
So to listen and do it, just be like this waiter here and pretend you are bringing dinner to the other person.
“Why hello, may I take your order?”
And they say:
“Yes, I’ll have one don’t ever contact me again you dweeb.”
And you say:
“I’ve taken your order, thank you very much, coming right up.”
This is the “right” path, not at all easy, and with that order comes the gift of missing you as well, especially if you were connected and you know your own self worth.
You Can Be Curious About It
For me, the curiosity is in the way someone can do this – the exact words they use. There’s SO many ways you can tell someone never to contact you again. There’s literally infinite possibilities. Here’s 10 I can think of right away.
- Go away Slime Ball
- Buzz off
- Don’t ever contact me again
- I’m really serious – don’t contact me again or I will gouge out your eyes with pool cues
- Just go away
- Please stop it, you’re bothering me
- Go jump in a lake with ice skates on
- If you contact me again, I will curse you
- Leave me alone you dweeb
- Stop talking to me right now you boo boo head
Curiosity is an important skill in life. It allows you to see beyond the pain of being disconnected from. I write from experience. It was some dark times for me when this happened to me in my life. And it never feels great either. I haven’t seen anyone post online this:
“Woo hoo, this person I really care about told me to never contact them again. It was awesome!”
For some reason, I don’t see much of that :). So be curious and yes it sucks, but stay curious about it if you can.
You Can Check Your Own Self Worth
I have been disconnected from before in my life, so I can relate to you if you’re in the situation. Because I’ve felt it. It wasn’t just some casual acquaintance either, but someone I care very much about. In this case, you must look at the good you offer the world and try not to focus on the pain of the disconnect. I know it’s hard… You should do the same self assessment of your self and realize your own self worth. Write down what is good about yourself.
Now, if you’ve been wasting away or sitting on your ass watching TV all your life, you’ve got some work to do! But I did my own self worth analysis. And this requires you embracing your inner ego a little bit and to talk about yourself. In this case, you must do the opposite of being humble in order to recognize your own self worth. In most cases, I recommend humility and not touting yourself too much. But when you’ve been disconnected from, an exception must be made, if only for a moment. After you do this, tuck this away and live away from ego and in humility.
I’m a handsome guy
I don’t say this to be narcissistic. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m handsome either. I just know it and it’s my own confidence in myself to realize it. And it doesn’t frickin’ matter how I look, but how I carry myself. I workout and take pride in my body even as a nerd.
I’m a confident guy
I’m a confident guy. I know a hell of a lot about life and situations, such that I feel like a wizard able to understand and command life. My confidence did take a hit this year a little, but it’s my own confidence that was able to realize that and still be able to move forward. I am confident now talking to ANYBODY. I’ve also tackled singing and guitar this year, for instance.
I’m a smart guy
I understand reality. I understand technology, programming, chess, and what makes people tick. I have an analytical mind that is able to pull together facts from life and come to conclusions. I take pride in being a renaissance man who understands a wide variety of subjects.
I’m a caring guy
It takes a certain amount of effort to really care about other people – to be willing to listen to them and allow that person to be totally them self around you. To be able to repeat back to people what matters to them as they speak is a skill many guys don’t have. I take pride in my ability to care about others – and to honor distance as well as I’ve been able to do.
I’m an entrepreneurial kinda guy
I take pride in all the stuff I’ve tried in my life. I tried a computer games website that sold computer and video games back in 2004. I wrote a book, made a game, built an Android App, have invested thousands in the stock market and peer to peer lending. Take a look at my portfolio. I’ve taken a lot of risks and it has all been worth it.
I’m a silly goose kinda guy
Despite many serious posts in the last 6 months, I am a bit of a goof ball. I love to laugh at pretty much anything and I think this article’s tone is showing that – a silly goose take on a serious subject. Laughter is medicine in life. If you can find a way to laugh when you are facing a situation like this in your life, you can face ANYTHING.
I’m a Gandalf the White kinda guy
I take pride in feeling like a wizard in life – able to program computers, make web pages, understand people very quickly, stay physically fit, keep my brain sharp, have a good sense of humor, be able to talk seriously about things when need be, and in general, provide a life experience that is exceptional for anyone close to me. It doesn’t mean I’m a perfect person. Oh goodness no, I have quirks like no other. However, I know my own worth and value to other people.
The point here is to let your EGO run wild a little bit. Focus on the good things about yourself. If you can’t think of any good things, then you need to get off your butt and get busy in your life building, creating, and doing things. Don’t go around telling people these things – let your actions and your body do the talking. But for when someone has gutted you and told you never to contact them again, I think it’s OK to look at how awesome you are – so long as you really are awesome.
Knowing the good and bad of yourself is crucial. But in this case, focus on your positive qualities. Create a little page like I’ve done for yourself and put it on your own website or in a journal. Then focus on how you can service humanity with your gifts.
You Can Accept It
Lastly, you can accept it. For whatever reason, someone has told you never to contact them again and wants you gone. When this happened to me, I was absolutely crushed – devastated. Darkness consumed me for over a week or so. To this day, I feel the sting inside me. I LOVE that I have the courage to share this experience and write about it. I’m not afraid to open up my wounds for the world to see because I KNOW it will help someone else going through this.
Mostly, through accepting it, it doesn’t mean your connection to the other person lessons. In some connections, the bond intensifies the more you try to sever it. In this case, you can find yourself caring about the person EVEN MORE, which is sort of amazing for me to think about. But acceptance means to me that you send only love, happiness, laughter, and care to the one who disconnected from you. Because this is what will make a great person out of you. Focus on it, be it, and be a stronger and better person through this heart wrenching experience.
You don’t know if you’ll see this person again – but you trust that if you are meant to, the universe will find a way for it to happen and that the best thing you can do is the work on yourself to be a better person and to live life like an illuminated human – that means you embrace your value to society and what you have to offer and give to others. Send out your good to the world and see what happens.
- Get Around People Who Challenge You
- When You Feel Like You’re Losing You’re Mind
- What the Song, Demons, Means to Me
- The Limiting Belief That You’re Not Supposed to Have It