One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year so far is how being and not being present in your life situations can cause happiness or unhappiness in life. Here’s a few things I found myself doing a lot this year that I’ve had to cut the cord on and completely correct in order to uphold a new and better standard for my life. Perhaps at one time you’ve found yourself doing these in large quantities.
There’s nothing wrong with any of these in moderation, but I’ve realized you can do these too much. Admitting the problem was part of the solution where I am now at :)
Being Addicted To Text Messaging
I hardly ever sent text messages until this year. Once I started to do it, I realized how much fun it was! It was so cool to get a text from someone. I mean after all, if someone sends you a text message, it means they were thinking of you. This is big time validation for each of our egos.
The problem was that when the next text message didn’t come, that’s when the withdrawals started. I realized that I had become dependent on getting text messages in order to feel good about myself. It completely deterred me from things like my quest to be a CEO and being more present for my family.
I’ve had to forcefully wean myself off of constant text messaging while at home and work and it wasn’t easy. But it’s my new standard for my life – I won’t do these things while I am present at work or with the people who are close to me and that I care about. Now that being said, text messaging has its place in the right context and relationship! And so in that regard, and in the right time and place, I will text with words of power :)
Being Addicted To Email
Another thing I did a lot of was constantly checking email to see who was in touch with me or if there was anything interesting going on. The problem with this again is that I am now dependent on someone else doing something for me in order to be happy or content.
The constant checking of email also deterred my quest to be a CEO, have a business, and kick ass at work. I’ve had to wean myself off of that and set a new standard to only check email every few days now as there are people I want to still keep in touch with. But I was checking it several times a day and that is not good.
Now that I am weaned off the constant email checking, I have more time to be present at work and do a better job. I have more time to take care of and come to a resolution in my own family life. In short, I am taking care of business.
Being Addicted To Chat
There’s nothing like sitting by your computer and seeing that someone you care about has left you a message on Skype. It’s quite the rush – just like getting a shot in the arm from a drug. And it’s OK to get messages from people you care about!
What is not OK is when you are distracted chatting when you are around your family or loved ones and not being present for them. Chat can also distract from work or school responsibilities, so I’d say that make sure to take care of life responsibilities and entrepreneurial endeavors before chatting.
After all that, It’s great to have a nice Skype chat, even with video. I think it’s terrific to connect with those we click with and get along with. But this must be done in the right context, relationship, and after all responsibilities have been taken care of.
Being Unfocused At Work
It’s easy to become distracted at work. Just open up Netflix and start watching a movie. Or open up Facebook on a browser. All of this is so easy to do. The problem is, you get paid for bringing value to your company. It’s pretty tough to bring value if you are watching movies, texting, looking at Facebook, etc…
Value comes from interacting with others in the company. It comes from helping complete projects. There is a sense of self worth from having helped complete a project and knowing you were a big part of it.
I found myself getting very distracted at work and lowering my standards. I won’t do that anymore – sure the occasional text or email is fine, but all the time is a big distraction and is a step in the wrong direction for bringing value to the business.
This is another one I’ve had to correct as I reorient myself to my standards for what I demand in my own life. If you’re having the problem with work distractions, simply stop and get engaged with the work that is going on at your place of business. Friends and chat can come after work.
Being Distant With The Family
Another thing I realized is that since about September last year, I’ve been distant with my family. I spent more time on the computer or on my phone than I did with my wife and kids. This isn’t to say I didn’t have a good reason. But it is to say that while I am around them, I must be present for them. It’s my standard for a family relationship while being married.
After many years, it’s easy to get caught up in the length of time and some of the big differences that may be realized between spouses. But those differences should be worked on by two people who are completely present with each other without distractions. That is the best way for a good decision to be made.
There’s a good quote from a man I admire who died in 2009. His name is Jim Rohn. I’ve listened to so many of his videos and his life philosophy is legendary. He shares a pretty good quote, “Wherever you are, be there.” What a good quote!
I think that means that whatever you have going on in your life, you should give your full attention. Even if you are going through a tough time in your family or relationship, you should be giving it your full attention until there is closure or a resolution. If there happens to be closure, then you can move on and begin putting your attention elsewhere.
Be present my friends, wherever you are. I believe that is one of the secrets to having a happy and successful life. Don’t neglect good friends. Don’t neglect family. But most of all, don’t neglect yourself and your standards.
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