One thing I’ve learned throughout my life is that the hard decision in your gut is often the best to make long-term. I remember when I was dating Heidi many years ago. At that time, she was seeing someone else and after one of our dates she told me she was interested in the other guy. She was being nice to me at the time and still seeing me so I didn’t feel bad. But in my gut, I knew I had to let it go.
The result of that decision is that a few months later, Heidi contacted me and after which, we dated and later became married. I believe in that situation, had I kept pressing to go out with her and see her, that the long term situation would not have been as favorable. It was at about the time I had removed all feelings for her that she called me one evening and she wanted to do something together as friends. The rest is now 13 years.
Over the past 13 years, there have been many more hard decisions for me. And I’ve found that the longer I delay a hard decision, the harder it gets to make that choice. Of course there is a case of just being afraid of a situation, but I think that overall, the gut is a good indicator or compass for you. If you find yourself over and over with a situation in your mind that you think you should do, chances are it is the right thing to do.
I know for myself that I’m very good at talking myself out of tough decisions. I’m afraid of loss for the things I care about. What’s really interesting about this is that by letting go you can actually get more of what you want. What I mean by that is attachment begets attachment. If I attach myself to a particular situation, then my whole life is driven by that outcome being met. If I release myself from expecting an outcome, often times, that outcome or something better comes along and in a much better way than in the present time.
Every new job that I’ve gotten in my career has been due to making a hard decision to leave that career. And recently, I had another very hard decision that I chose to make and it was not easy – but it falls along in the same line of letting go and listening to my gut which had been speaking to me for some time. And then to have faith that the future will be brighter.
I think life is like that. We face tough choices in our guts and sometimes we put them off. What if my gut tells me to quit my job? That’s really scary… But I think stuff like that is what brings the most fulfillment out of life. Maybe not necessarily the most money, but certainly a feeling of satisfcation with one’s self.
My gut is telling me that I need to discover who I am and what I really want in my life. Yes, I’m a husband and father to two little girls. But part of what I have not done is listen to my gut to help me get centered in my own life and what I want. So this is a big deal for me and an exploration that is both exciting and scary. I’m not sure what will come of it, just that I am listening to my gut and making a hard choice to focus on this.
I’m not sure what your gut is telling you about your life and what you should do. It really helps to find someone to talk to who you are alike with and can use both your minds to better understand it. Life is hairy and chaotic. But when I look back, the hard decisions my gut were telling me always helped create something amazing for the future.
- Take As Long As It Takes
- Moving Out On My Own
- Get Strong First
- Always Verify For Yourself
- Lose Yourself to Find Yourself