There’s a quote I read today and ‘supposedly’ it is by Theodore Roosevelt. But you know how quotes on the Internet go… But the gist of the quote is that nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty. This year, I’ve taken a hard look at my life and I can see some things that fall into this category. Why does it matter though? Shouldn’t we just get comfortable and not try the things that are hard?
Well, I think life in and of itself is a challenge. We’re born into the world as infants kicking and screaming, dependent on others to live. From that point on, our bodies need nourishment and a lot of things to go our way to have a good life. But beyond just being alive and living day to day, there are things that I find incredibly difficult to do, but feel the reward for doing so in the end is great. These are four areas that come to my mind very quickly when it comes to things worth having or doing that are not easy. In fact, they are scary and hard as hell.
Giving a good public speaking presentation
I actually like speaking in front of people. This does not mean it is easy, however. I get nervous just like the next person and get sweaty under my arms. The hard thing for me in giving a public speaking presentation is in making the presentation entertaining, informative, and of value to the audience. It’s not so much about having to get up there. It’s more in being able to deliver something of value.
Being a manager at work
Being a manager at work now is much different than being a regular employee or individual contributor. It’s easy when you are just a solo person who has to do their tasks each day. It’s much harder to try and work with a team, keep people happy, and help strategize the direction of the team to give value to the business. I find the hardest thing about being a manager working with each person to help their morale and be highly productive. It goes beyond just talking to them individually, I can see that. Life is dynamic and sometimes people are just going through a hard time. There’s no easy answer to being a manager.
Discussing core relationship issues
Over the course of this year, Heidi and I have discussed some of the core things that are part of our relationship. Finally this year I am being completely open and honest about some of my beliefs and life views with her, which I’d never done in the past 13 years. This has caused a great deal of chaos, but what is interesting is that Heidi has become accepting of all the things I’ve said. This doesn’t mean there aren’t more issues at hand. Indeed, there are still some things that need to be worked through and the future is uncertain to say the least.
This might be a shock to anyone reading this who know us personally. We do get along fine. Heidi is a good person. I know that in the last 6 months, there have been experiences I’ve had that have changed me forever. What I used to believe about life as an agnostic has been completely shattered. I’m not religious by an stretch of the imagination, goodness no, but I do realize that there is some kind of ‘force’ out there that answers calls to the universe when we seek it and I don’t take the answer to that call lightly. If you put out a call or prayer to the universe and it gives an answer, don’t discard it – there is something important there.
Either way, it’s been very healthy and growth-oriented for Heidi and I to talk openly about everything between us. It has made for both of us being stronger and in particular, it has helped me to not hold my beliefs and emotions in, which is critical not to do in a relationship.
Learning to give people you care about distance
Let’s just admit it now – we are all emotional people at times – particularly when it comes to family or others that are close to us in life. What do you do when one of those people requests distance from you? Do you throw a temper tantrum and stomp your foot? If you are on Facebook, and someone de-friends you, does that ruffle your feathers? Remember, when someone becomes distant from you, it’s more about them than it is you – it really is. It means that person is feeling something and needs to withdraw. Send them sunshine and rainbows and keep the door open should they decide to touch base with you again.
A wise man once said, and I think this will help you understand when others withdraw, that two things are at the core of all conflict: 1. Do you care about me? 2. Can I trust you? Think about that for a moment and then you’ll see why someone has become distant.
These are just a few things that aren’t easy to do. It’s not easy to face reality sometimes – I mean really face it. It’s really hard because life is already trying to take us out from the moment we are born :) So doing any more than just surviving takes guts and courage. I admire and respect greatly anyone who speaks truth in their life about their situation and especially if they speak truth to those they care about – even if it means that those they care about will distance themselves because of the truth. It is the truth that will set you free. Hugs and care to you who are reading this.
- What Life Is
- The Same Old Same Old
- When Life Knocks You Around
- Listen and Do It
- What Goes Through the Mind of Another