People are what make life interesting. It’s the personalities, views, dreams, hopes, desires, and everything in between that make people interesting. As each of you reading this are conscious human beings, you’re able to walk around and perceive what is going around you as well as what other people are doing. When you’re dealing with people, there are times it is important to give people space – even if your instinct is not to. Part of life is learning to accept people and their choices in order to have happiness from within. Without an acceptance of people’s need for space, I believe it’s difficult to find inner happiness. I of all people am aware and working on this myself.
One of the key things to pickup on is the tone of the person speaking to you. Whether it’s through email, text, phone, or face to face communication, listen to the tone of voice of the person. Is their tone upbeat and happy? Is it slower and more concerned? Is there tone quick and blunt? Or perhaps the tone is all but silent?
Chances are, someone needs their space if their tone is hurried or rushed. If their words are spoken quickly, their time is needed elsewhere or they are just trying to get away from the situation. Be mindful of that.
Another way to see if someone needs space is misdirection. This is simply the art of saying something but meaning another. After all, if you can tell someone something and they simply believe it, then it is done. However, be very careful about trying misdirection with someone who knows you well or that you are close to. Misdirecting in that case will be easy to identify and honesty is much better.
Another way to see if someone wants some space is how much are they saying to you? Some people just aren’t in the mood to talk sometimes, that is for sure. But if you are saying a lot to someone and they respond back with very little – chances are you need to back off. Look for how eager someone is to talk back to you and say things – it’s a good indicator of how much they want to talk.
Ah yes, the silence. There are times when someone REALLY just doesn’t want to talk. And there are probably a plethora of reasons ranging from overwhelm, frustration, anger, ideological beliefs, being busy, etc… This one is a SURE fire way to know if someone needs their space.
Just try and send an email, text, or make a phone call to someone. If they do not respond within a few days to a week, then chances are, you’ve been ‘silenced’. And being silenced isn’t a bad thing. I’ve found that getting someone to silence you is a good way to see exactly how they are feeling at a given time. Just let it be. But don’t continue to try and reach them while silenced – unless you have some simple words of encouragement to say – but even then keep it infrequent. If you are truly someone that is important to them, they will reach out to you again. They just need distance right now.
If there’s someone you know well and you think they are close to silencing you, just send them a little text and try to make a joke and see if they respond. If there is silence, then you have your answer. ACCEPT that is how they are handling it and send love and care their way.
A Final Note
Listen to your gut, heart, and mind when looking at other people and trying to see if they need space. Sometimes in life, a person needs to run away from a situation to take care of their needs and find things out on their own. LET THEM. Sometimes getting someone to do this is important because it means they are now focusing all their attention on their own life. Again, LET THEM. Send nothing but support and love their way, but don’t try anything else. Focus on your life and the things that matter to you.
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