I traveled to the hospital today… with my wife. While doing so, I was reading, “The Innovators Dilemma.” It’s a book about change and possible ways to be ready for it, using technology as the main example. The interesting dilemma I saw was not so much the examples in the book, but what happened to me as I arrived at the hospital.
You see, my wife’s step mom is now hospitalized, having suffered a brain hemorrhage. She was rushed to the hospital a few days ago after not being able to be revived by paramedics. An emergency surgery later, she now lays in a hospital bed, kept alive by tubes and life support.
I saw her there laying on the bed. Her head was shaved. She had a several inch long incision on the side of her head. “Life really is short,” I thought to myself over and over. I’m 32 years old now. I have dreams of living forever. But today, a stone cold reality chilled me. Some day I may face a similar fate and be dead. It is possible. Not to think so is naive.
I thought about my blog. It’s mostly a collection of my thoughts and life journey – a journal of sorts. I think most of us want to leave this life knowing we made a difference. Seeing someone in a state of near death has a way of making an impression.
I’m not afraid to say that I want to make a massive difference. I really do. And I’m trying with all the energy I can muster. Just reading a book a week alone has been a massive and difficult change for me. Some days I wonder if I should just hang it up and accept that my fate will be ordinary. After all, in eight months, my blog hasn’t really generated much interest.
I think about that last statement. What would make the website of Jeremy Noel Johnson more interesting? Would it be becoming a master salesman? Would it be learning psychological techniques to hook readers into wanting more? Would it be creating massively long sales pages to try and find the right combination to “sell” someone?
I don’t know the answer. I see “successful” people and most of them have popups and lead capture pages and write in a way that captures the attention of people. Is that really what it takes to get more than 30 website visitors a day? Surely the world is ready for something more than that.
If you can’t tell, I was affected today by seeing someone who will most likely be dead soon. Someone that I know and that my wife knows closely. For my own peace of mind, I want to know that I’ve reached many people and that I didn’t have to use online internet “tricks” to do it. That I didn’t have to tweak and do A/B testing to find the right “combination” of words, colors, and images to manipulate psychology.
Maybe this is just wishful thinking. Perhaps mastering salesmanship techniques is what is required. But right now, I resist that. I can’t accept that. I have to keep pushing on the fly wheel. After eight months, there has been little result to see. But I’ve got to keep pushing on the wheel. Because my hope is that the wheel will start moving. Just a little movement someday must surely be possible. I can do all I can, learn all I can, and adapt all I can and leave the rest up to the universe. That is what one man can do.
My conclusion from this reflection is that I will keep doing all I can. I will keep reading. I will keep learning. Surely this effort will pay off. Life is too short to just sit in my damn cubicle at work all day. I’ve got to do even more at my day job. The urgency is surely increasing. At the end of my life, if all I have to show is that I sat in a cubicle all day, then I will surely feel the pain of regret.
So let’s make a difference, you and I. Let’s do something more than what we are at our day job. Let’s set a new standard for our online websites. Your accounting to yourself at the end of your life demands it. Make a difference in your health. Stop eating those frickin’ burgers and fries. Make a difference in your family. Share something amazing with them. We never know when our turn on the death bed will come…
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