Jeremy JohnsonHigher Learning For Success

I consider those of you reading my blog to be leaders. You are people who take extra action to add value to the world we live in. As leaders, we all know people who have a different mindset than we do. We know people who have a poor psychology and seem to be putting through life with difficulty, cynicism, and complaining. As leaders with a desire to grow and learn ourselves, I believe there is a natural desire to help those around us who struggle.

It is my hope to brainstorm and share my thoughts with all of you in hopes that discussion and ideas will be created.

It’s not too difficult to spot someone who is struggling or has a poor psychology. Just log into Facebook for a few minutes. It’s not hard to find people joining Facebook groups like these two:

“We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t stop an oil leak?”

or this group (I apologize, but the group name is all caps):

“DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.”

Complaining, cynicism and negativity aren’t just on Facebook. And they aren’t the only two problems. As leaders, we know family, friends, and acquaintances who struggle with their finances, relationships, physical health, emotional stability, and every area of life imaginable. There’s a big problem here. The people who are like this outnumber the people who are not. I’ve personally struggled with seeing this. If I had to make an estimate, I’d say for every leader, or person who is seeking to improve their life and those around them, there are 4 people who are completely opposite.

What to do?

I’m not going to lie, it is a challenge to persuade and influence people who are deep in the bowels of stagnation. It’s tough – like pulling a baby calf out of a cow when it is being born. You have to tug, pull, and work hard at it. I’m not sure there is an easy way to influence those who have the mindset to constantly complain. Since the complainer feels some significance by venting, you definitely don’t want to take away their significance.

What do you do then? It’s easy for me to have a conversation about personal growth with people like Kim Maglinti or Jarrod Clark. They are awesome and like minded and it’s a joy to know them. But what about those people who are not conscious of the hell they are creating for themselves? In the past, I’ve tried talking to people like this, but when I speak from a perspective of my own, how a focus on personal development would help, or giving them ideas about what they can do right now to make things better, this is usually met with glossy eyes or resentment.

For me personally, I know how beneficial a focus on personal development is. It’s enhanced all areas of my life – financially, physically, spiritually, and more. I’m by no means perfect (just ask my wife). But I can see a significant change that is increasing my happiness and fulfillment through the new focus on personal growth and development. I ask myself, “Why wouldn’t someone want that in their life?” A life of happiness and fulfillment – isn’t that what we are all seeking? Perhaps some see themselves getting that in a different way and don’t see their health and financial troubles as necessary to improve.

A counter to this would be to just associate and talk to those who are willing to listen. I agree, this is a sound strategy if you want to have the biggest bang for your buck. But if the ratio is as unbalanced – or even more unbalanced than 80% needing help and 20% are growing leaders, then it makes a lot of sense to me to find a way to try and reach the 80%. As a side note, the Pareto principle (80-20 rule is in full force here).

These are people we all know. It’s not very hard to find them. But it is no easy task to reach them. I speak from personal experience here. Sharing thoughts about personal growth, investing in your future, energy from healthy living are as foreign as alien technology. I’ve been listening to Jim Rohn talk about persuasion and influence, in addition to reading public speaking and influence books by Dale Carnegie. My conclusion is that it is no easy task to solve how to talk to someone that is not like you. But I don’t think it is impossible.

Experts

There are quite a few personal development experts. They are smart people. I’m sure you know who many of them are. They have been invaluable to me in learning and growing. They are masters at understanding the exact market of people who are interested in personal growth and development. But I believe they are targeting those people who are already interested in personal growth. Yes, this makes sense from a marketing stand point. But from a ‘progress as a whole’ standpoint, it does not make sense to me.

What I Think Must Be Done

I think first and foremost, showing that you care is a big key to helping someone that is not like you. You need to be willing to listen to and understand them. I’ve started doing this and it has made a difference. When you show you are willing to listen, I believe it is the beginnings of influence.

Next, a big key is showing you know your material due to having references of experts who have studied and shown what you are saying to be valuable. This gives credibility to you because you took the time to gather evidence.

Next, sharing what people who are like them who have transformed have said is essential. This is a testimonial – but of someone who has struggled. If you can show that people in similar situations were reached and benefited, then you are well on your way.

Finally, start with where they are. Jim Rohn said it best, “To take people where you want them to go, start with where they are. If people are hurting, you have to start in the hurt.” Speak from the position of where the person struggling is. This is difficult. I know, I’ve been trying it for some time now and have yet to perfect it.

Why I (Or You) Should Even Care

I think it boils down to your philosophy of the world as a whole as opposed to what you are receiving. If you focus just on what you get personally, this might not be the approach for you. But if you believe in the strength of humans as a whole working together and growing together, this approach is for you. You have to decide for yourself – do you take the time to try and reach those who are not like you, even though it might not make you much money? Or do you go after your specific target market and take the ‘easy’ road?

I’ll be in Yellowstone a week after publishing this post. Looking forward to the trip!