Being Completely Honest And Open

I saw this video recently. It was at a conference in Las Vegas for TED. In it, Bruce Muzik shares a shocking revelation about himself that surprised me…

The first thing I thought of after watching this is all the things about myself that I keep a secret to myself only. There are things I’m not comfortable telling anyone, not even my wife. Why do I keep them a secret? Am I afraid of losing my wife? Am I afraid nobody will like me? Am I afraid that my family will disown me?

There’s plenty of fears I have that keep me from being completely open about everything I think, feel, and do. The other side to this story from this video says that keeping everything bottled up is actually counter-productive and can lead to outcomes that are disastrous. In revealing everything about ones self, there may be a short-term heavy price to pay. But this video suggests that in the long run, one will feel more alive and vibrant by being completely honest.

The question I ask myself is, “What do I do then?” Do I use this post to tell it all like it is, raw and uncut? The first thing I will admit is that I’m not comfortable doing that – at least not for everything. But there are some things about me that I am comfortable sharing – obsessions, worries, and weaknesses mostly. Here are my top 5 from what I am comfortable sharing…

I’m obsessed with money

Money is the primary medium of exchange for goods and services. The greater amount of money that one has, the greater amount of options for school, philanthropy, and experiences. Right now I don’t have the money to go into outer space, but I wish I did. I wish I had the money for a flying car like this one. But I don’t. I want to win the lottery so I have enough money to quit my job and live financially free.

I think my obsession with money comes from a strong desire to provide a better life for my children than what I had. Because I had a father who worked hard and had a good job, I was provided for. So I’ve got my work cut out for me to increase beyond that. I’ve heard that to get rich, you must first become a person worthy of success and that success will be attracted by the kind of person you become. That’s one of my reasons for studying personal development.

I’m a compulsive stock checker

Google Finance is a frequent site I visit. I want to know how my stocks are doing. I’ve lost money in the stock market and I believe my compulsiveness in checking stocks plays a role in this. I don’t think you can make money in the stock market being an emotional and compulsive stock checker.

This is something I am working on. I’m trying to set my stocks up to be more automated so that the system takes care of buying and selling for me. In the end, I may find that trading stocks just isn’t for me as I become too obsessed with the stock prices minute by minute.

I’m an emotional eater

For some reason, a good cereal like Corn Chex or Honey Comb really gives me comfort when I’ve had a stressful or hard day. Just the other day, I felt the stress of a situation where I am loaning a large sum of money to a close relative and downed four bowls of Honey Comb and Sugar Smacks. The certainty that I can quickly create a bowl of cereal with milk and eat it very quickly and experience the physiological change that eating gives me plays a role in my emotional eating.

This doesn’t help my weight, that’s for sure. But I know that in order to conquer this problem, I’m going to have to keep out of the kitchen and keep busy and productive doing those things which I know will make me happy (spending time with my family and working on my websites and book).

I’d rather play and relax than work

I grew up playing computer games, particularly role playing games like Ultima, Bard’s Tale, Civilization, Warcraft, Starcraft, and Baldur’s Gate. A good computer game that I can get immersed in is a really great stress reliever for me. I feel like I am the main character in the game, creating influence and making a difference and becoming more powerful.

In the end, I think relaxing is easier than digging in and working hard. It’s easy to sit on the couch and watch a sit-com. It’s easy to sit and play games on my computer. To this day, I have to be very diligent in keeping a good balance between work and play and not overdoing it on the computer with games…

I’m afraid that deep down I am an atheist

This is probably the one I wasn’t sure I wanted to share. My wife is very religious and I always seek to word very tactfully and carefully when it comes to my opinions about religion. I do believe that death is not the end of life. I do hope that there is a God/Supreme being who watches over us and guides us in achieving a potential and growth that we presently do not have. However, my desire to avoid death and live forever is partly due to the fact that I just don’t know what is going to happen when I die.

I grew up Mormon/LDS and still consider myself a member of this faith. That being said, I have a very open mind concerning the nature of the world, human-kind, and the universe itself. For all I know, God is just an extra-terrestrial that helped create us and has guided our species throughout history. Such a statement might be considered blasphemy, especially considering I live in Utah. But the purpose of this article is to share true feelings and ‘secrets’, so I make this personal feeling known, accepting the consequences, both good and bad of it.

Conclusion

What I’ve shared are just some personal thoughts and feelings of mine regarding my own life. I’m a very happy person who is extremely thrilled to be going through this adventure called life. Who knows what awaits my family and I in the future. I hope these personal insights into my own life help create a clearer picture of what I think about and struggle with. I’m not this perfect person with no flaws. In fact, I face many regular challenges that take constant effort to keep under control.

For you, what have you not shared about yourself to those around you that may be difficult, but ultimately better in the long run? Have the courage to do it and see yourself increasing in bravery for the future. Who knows what the new-found courage form sharing your personal challenges and secrets might offer you…

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4 thoughts on “Being Completely Honest And Open

  1. Life is all about the myriad of experiences we’re having. And the first thing to really embrace and accept is by traveling and going inwards which you have done A LOT here! Revealing and touching post from you Jeremy. I think a lot of men will agree with you on this one about money “comes from a strong desire to provide a better life for my children than what I had.” I feel that’s what drives my husband too and I could tell sometimes it’s not easy for him.
    I didn’t know your obssessed with being a stock checker. WOW! I should come to you for advice. I have always been fascinated with stocks. Anyway it’s hard to be OPEN and candid about your own life. I am so glad you decided to be open today as I learned a great deal about you. Your life is a vast of opportunities and I’m sure you are learning dad by dad to be open to the possibilities everyday. Thank You for the awesome share Jeremy.

    Best of wishes always

    1. Hi Therese, appreciate those words – been taking a good hard inward look at myself lately, reflecting and seeking understanding. Glad to have you as a friend!

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