Why am I not achieving what I want? Why am I broke? Why am I unhappy? These are questions that I think many of us face, including myself, and I discovered a series of questions, some of which are very personal, that I had to ask myself to find out what was limiting me.
I share now some of my thoughts related to figuring out exactly who I am and what some of the things are that hold me back. My hope is that you’ll gain some insight into yourself or those around you about what may hold you or them back.
Who is Jeremy Noel Johnson
Insert your name into the question here. When I asked myself this question, here is what I came up with.
I’m a human, living here on this earth. I don’t know why I am here living at this time in history. It could be random chance. It could be that someone put me here at this time for a very specific reason. Regardless of that fact, I believe I am still in the process of truly discovering who I am. Some of the things I like include the following:
- Creating things (through building websites, writing books, or whatever else it may be)
- Speaking in front of others
- Meeting successful people
- Playing the occasional computer game
- Looking to the future of technology
When I was a kid, I remember many a time playing legos with my twin brother Jeff. We had the castle set of Legos and we’d make up names and play out stories of what was happening. I remember this as one of the happiest times of my life. Engrossed in our own little world. I also remember playing a game in middle school called “Colonization”. I started playing around 10:00 AM in our home living room. At about 6:30 AM, I was still playing and began to hear the birds outside greeting the new day. My mom walked in the room and was surprised to see me there. She asked if I had been up all night :)
I remember waking up at 5:00 AM in middle school again to play a computer game called “The Bard’s Tale 2”. I’m fascinated that I got up so early to play this game. Can you imagine a beginning teenager getting up that early to do anything? I had such a fascination of the story and gameplay of that game that it wasn’t hard to get up that early to play it. It seems a big part of my life has been involved in the playing of computer games. This certainly gives me many ideas.
At my core, I believe I am a technology nerd who also enjoys being in front of people. I enjoy writing and speaking. I’m very interested in what the future holds through technology and the advancement of human kind. I want to play a big part in that, whatever that entails.
What holds me back from being all I can be?
I had to step back and really think about this question. My ego/pride says, “Oh, there’s nothing wrong with me.” But in all honesty, that is a ridiculous thought. There is plenty that holds me back. And it’s not just my fears. It’s skills I lack. As I am completely honest with myself, here are the main weak points for me:
I am afraid to leave my job to pursue my dreams
Let’s face it. If you have a family with children, there is something to be said from the stability that a job provides with a steady pay check. In my case, I have a good job, with good benefits, and it pays well. It lets our family live comfortably. Doesn’t it seem a little crazy to give this up to go for something more? That’s the battle I face with this area that holds me back. What do you do when you have a pretty good job and are doing pretty well taking care of your family, but feel your potential and ultimate abilities are not being put to their greatest use?
In my case, I think staying at my job makes sense. But it also makes sense to go after my dreams. The challenge is this requires 8 hours of work during the day and 3 to 5 during my own time. With a wife and kids, this is by no means easy or simple. But in order to keep the family safe and comfortable, which is a priority of mine, I can’t just up and leave the day job. But what I can do is put myself in position to do so in a number of years. I’ve set a hard date of when that might be. It’s a few years from now. At that time, I liken it to visiting the island and burning the boats that took you there. There will be no going back.
So the solution here I believe is simple. Stay at your job. And then work your ass off after hours to go after your dream. Set a deadline to leave the job, make sure your family agrees to that, and then with no regrets go for it. From my stand point, I’d rather scrounge for food and be homeless than live a mediocore life bereft of growth, challenge, and adventure.
I am afraid that I won’t be good/valuable enough to make it
Have you ever thought, “I just don’t know how to do that” or “That seems hard” and then become stopped dead in your tracks from continuing down a path toward something? That’s what happens to me. I see a multi-millionare who has real-estate and invests in stocks and wonder if I could ever get in that position. Or I see a public speaker like Brian Tracy or Eric “The Hip Hop Preacher” and wonder if I will ever be as good as they are.
I think this is simply a feeling of inadequacy. If I don’t have the skills right now to go do something, I feel the sense of fear and don’t try. I think the sense of fear is good, but not the not trying part. The sense of fear is a clue that something is missing in order to achieve it. It’s like missing the key to a door. The fear tells us that we have to acquire knowledge or a skill in order to get to that point. Look at the fear as a good thing – an internal message that study, practice, learning, and knowledge are required.
So what can be done to specifically solve this problem? I think taking the time to find classes/material to gain the skills necessary to do what you love is the answer. Find a good book, take a class, learn from an expert. The knowledge is out there. If I look at my situation, then I know I must continue to increase my skills in relation to public speaking, web development, writing, investing, and business. Anything that will help me increase in those skills is worth my time.
I think luck plays too much a part
Bill Gates. Warren Buffet. Michael Jordan. Anthony Robbins. These guys were all just lucky right? The world just fell in their lap exactly like they wanted didn’t it? I have to admit, part of me has the belief that people get into position of business ownership because they are lucky. The were born in the right family, had the right parents, or got lucky with the timing. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, got lucky with timing right? He had the right idea at the right time. At just the right moment the world was ready for his magnificent idea.
I’m sorry to say that I don’t have the answer to this one. I’m going to give all the effort I have. I’m going to read books, study the best, seek opportunity, and learn the best strategies I can. Here’s honestly what I believe though: the world is a competitive place. If you want to have your own business, earn a big income, live a lifestyle that gives you freedom to do whatever you want with whoever you want whenever you want, then that person must earn the kind of income that qualifies as such.
What is my ideal life like?
Eh, um, well, I didn’t have a readily available answer to this. Is the standard answer lots of money, no bills, health, and happiness? Is that what most people have, or are most people chasing these things? I think defining the ideal life takes effort. It’s not normal to do. And as such, the ideal life becomes go to school, finish school, go to work, pay the bills, etc…
The ideal life, that is a good question. And I don’t have the answer for myself even. I want a good family, high income, fulfilling work, and to make a difference in the world. But I’ve got some work to do to define what exactly this means…
- Taking the Kids Outside For Some Basketball
- Leaving It All On the Court
- What REALLY Are Your Top Values?
- The Best Things Give You Good Memories
- In The Zone