What Is NLP?

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is the ability to train your mind to replace a feeling about something with a completely different feeling.

For example, if you are afraid of spiders, NLP can be used to change your emotion of fear to any other emotion you desire.

So is that top spider totally creeping you out? If so, NLP can be used to reduce or eliminate that fear. Try looking at the silly spider for a while. Look at its eyes and its funny mouth. See the happiness in the spider. Think of a normal spider and view it as the one with the silly smile on its face. Do this until whenever you think of a spider, the silly spider comes into your mind right away. Now glance at the first spider. The silly spider should come to your mind. You’ll know you’ve done this enough when you see actual spiders and picture them with big smiles on their faces. This is one way to reduce fear or see spiders in a new way with a new feeling.

Someone who is afraid of spiders probably sees the very first picture when a spider comes nearby. They see a hideous, terrifying monster that is going to suck their blood and eat their entrails. Another person, say someone who lets a tarantula crawl on them probably sees the second picture – a playful animal that is fun. Why two different views of the same creature? The simple answer is the association and link in the mind about it.

Another example is human interaction. I will take a guess and say there are some people that when you see them you get excited and give them a hug. They make you feel good. There are probably other people who you are less inclined to even speak to. These people probably make your skin crawl. Now imagine that someone who makes your skin crawl is actually a person that can offer you something valuable. Maybe it’s a promotion. Maybe it’s a key insight. Maybe they are someone you have to work with on a daily basis. Maybe this person is your spouse :)

You could be robbed of an experience because of a limiting belief that someone is holding you back in your life. What if a manager at your job has had an experience in their life that if shared with you could put you on a path that changes everything? Be careful about the feelings and meaning you give individuals. NLP will allow you to change those feelings and meanings so you don’t rob yourself of a potential valuable relationship.

Associations and feelings

I look at myself and my past. Balloons used to be a scary thing to me. Just being around one would make me tense up. I remember specifically going to church one time. There were about 30 balloons laid out on the floor for a party. Kids were there. So the first thing I thought of was how those kids were going to pop those balloons and how startled I was going to become because of it.

There’s an association with feeling. Let’s take another association and feeling that I used to have. I used to associate working at my day job with the 9 to 5 clock and wondering when the day would be over. I religiously would look at the clock. “It’s only 10′oclock? Dang nabit!” or “All right it’s 3′oclock. Two more hours and I’m free.” Can any of you relate to this. I call this one way to feel about your job.

Think for a moment about your life. I’m not sure what you think about, but I can make a few guesses. You might not like your job. You might not like your spouse. You might not like your physical appearance. You might not like your income. You might not like someone who you feel has wronged you. Whatever it is, you only view the situation the way you do because of how you choose to feel and the meaning you give it. This is at the heart of NLP. You are already using it, unfortunately to a negative effect in most cases.

True NLP is how to get the feeling you want when you need it – without drugs, food, etc… Using it to create an empowering feeling is much more effective than using it to focus on depressing or negative thoughts. What we’ll do now is use NLP to create some new associations for some things in your life. By doing this, you’ll create a new picture of situations in the past you didn’t like. When this happens, your behavior will change. It’s akin to rushing and giving your best friend a big hug – but being able to view your worst enemy in the same manner.

Creating the new association

The very first thing is to find a moment in your past where you felt euphoric and powerful. For me, this was a softball game when I was roughly 13. I was playing on a team in Kalamazoo, Michigan. It was the last inning and I was playing in the outfield. Our team was up by one run. The other team was batting though and they had the bases loaded with two outs. The batter hit a booming shot that headed straight for me over my head.

As I ran back as fast as I could to make the catch, I realized that reaching up with my right hand (which had my glove on) was not going to give me the reach to make the catch. Instinctively, I raised my bare left hand and the ball fell straight in it – cleanly and cirsply. What happened after that was nothing short of complete empowerment in the moment. The rest of the team ran straight for me and cheered in amazement. I felt a rush of joy and power that resulted in complete certainty in myself in that moment.

For me, this is the moment I use as a reference for what my most empowering feeling is like. For you the moment may be different. It could be a magical night you had with someone. It could be a performance in a dance you did. It could be a game you played flawlessly in. It could be a moment you just felt at your very best. Whatever this moment is take it and capture it in your mind. Place it in a picture frame.

Then create the posture of how you felt when this moment occurred. Were you standing tall with your shoulders back? Were you jumping for joy? Were you breathing rapidly with anticipation? Focus on the moment. This is like going back in time to recreate an event.

After all, we’ve done it in the past for negative things haven’t we? I know for myself, I’ve spent many hours focusing on a past break up, a past mistake, a past poor performance. This lets us feel miserable and incapable. If you want to feel this way, then you can focus on a past event like this. But I think the opposite can be created just as well by focusing on an empowering past event.

When you have the euphoric moment etched in your mind, begin recalling it at random during the day. Focus on it. With practice, you should be able to put yourself in that moment. This is especially useful in situations where you are having a difficult time – like looking at the clock at work. Imagine going in to work and first thing putting yourself in the moment of your most powerful past experience. What a change that could become. You just might revolutionize your whole job. Who knows what you are capable of with the right frame of mind?

Change the rules

NLP allows you to change the former rules of your life. I know for myself, that I had a pretty screwed up set of rules. I had limitations and beliefs that were not conducive to happiness and growth. I was shy and timid. I was lazy. I was a couch potato. Using NLP, I created in my mind a picture frame with me on my death bed. Then I took all the things that correlate to living a sub par life and linked them. It didn’t take long before I became so disturbed that the pain of that link stirs me to action.

Now I take that frame on my death bed and link it to hard work and sheer relentlessness. When I am about to leave the earth, I am going to grin from ear to ear knowing I did all that I could to make a difference. This association has created a new set of rules for me in how I govern my behavior. It governs what I eat, what I think, who I associate with, the risks I take. It squelches my fears and lets me tap into infinite intelligence.

Think for a moment about the rules you have in your life. What do you believe you can and can’t do? What if you could do more? What if you created an association and empowering meaning with something you presently believe you can’t do. There’s no telling what good you could start doing in this world with a new set of rules. Use NLP to create new associations and rules in your life. It is a useful tool to take you to a higher life.

Practice, practice, practice creating new associations – just like the silly spider above. It really is up to you to take the time to learn the skill. Ask yourself if you are happy with how you feel right now. If you are, then I wish you the best. But if you are not happy in any way shape or form about any area of your life or people in your life, then NLP is a valuable tool to take you where you want to go.

Until next time, keep making a difference.

Jeremy