I consider those of you reading my blog to be leaders. You are people who take extra action to add value to the world we live in. As leaders, we all know people who have a different mindset than we do. We know people who have a poor psychology and seem to be putting through life with difficulty, cynicism, and complaining. As leaders with a desire to grow and learn ourselves, I believe there is a natural desire to help those around us who struggle.

It is my hope to brainstorm and share my thoughts with all of you in hopes that discussion and ideas will be created.

It’s not too difficult to spot someone who is struggling or has a poor psychology. Just log into Facebook for a few minutes. It’s not hard to find people joining Facebook groups like these two:

“We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t stop an oil leak?”

or this group (I apologize, but the group name is all caps):

“DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.”

Complaining, cynicism and negativity aren’t just on Facebook. And they aren’t the only two problems. As leaders, we know family, friends, and acquaintances who struggle with their finances, relationships, physical health, emotional stability, and every area of life imaginable. There’s a big problem here. The people who are like this outnumber the people who are not. I’ve personally struggled with seeing this. If I had to make an estimate, I’d say for every leader, or person who is seeking to improve their life and those around them, there are 4 people who are completely opposite.

What to do?

I’m not going to lie, it is a challenge to persuade and influence people who are deep in the bowels of stagnation. It’s tough – like pulling a baby calf out of a cow when it is being born. You have to tug, pull, and work hard at it. I’m not sure there is an easy way to influence those who have the mindset to constantly complain. Since the complainer feels some significance by venting, you definitely don’t want to take away their significance.

What do you do then? It’s easy for me to have a conversation about personal growth with people like Kim Maglinti or Jarrod Clark. They are awesome and like minded and it’s a joy to know them. But what about those people who are not conscious of the hell they are creating for themselves? In the past, I’ve tried talking to people like this, but when I speak from a perspective of my own, how a focus on personal development would help, or giving them ideas about what they can do right now to make things better, this is usually met with glossy eyes or resentment.

For me personally, I know how beneficial a focus on personal development is. It’s enhanced all areas of my life – financially, physically, spiritually, and more. I’m by no means perfect (just ask my wife). But I can see a significant change that is increasing my happiness and fulfillment through the new focus on personal growth and development. I ask myself, “Why wouldn’t someone want that in their life?” A life of happiness and fulfillment – isn’t that what we are all seeking? Perhaps some see themselves getting that in a different way and don’t see their health and financial troubles as necessary to improve.

A counter to this would be to just associate and talk to those who are willing to listen. I agree, this is a sound strategy if you want to have the biggest bang for your buck. But if the ratio is as unbalanced – or even more unbalanced than 80% needing help and 20% are growing leaders, then it makes a lot of sense to me to find a way to try and reach the 80%. As a side note, the Pareto principle (80-20 rule is in full force here).

These are people we all know. It’s not very hard to find them. But it is no easy task to reach them. I speak from personal experience here. Sharing thoughts about personal growth, investing in your future, energy from healthy living are as foreign as alien technology. I’ve been listening to Jim Rohn talk about persuasion and influence, in addition to reading public speaking and influence books by Dale Carnegie. My conclusion is that it is no easy task to solve how to talk to someone that is not like you. But I don’t think it is impossible.

Experts

There are quite a few personal development experts. They are smart people. I’m sure you know who many of them are. They have been invaluable to me in learning and growing. They are masters at understanding the exact market of people who are interested in personal growth and development. But I believe they are targeting those people who are already interested in personal growth. Yes, this makes sense from a marketing stand point. But from a ‘progress as a whole’ standpoint, it does not make sense to me.

What I Think Must Be Done

I think first and foremost, showing that you care is a big key to helping someone that is not like you. You need to be willing to listen to and understand them. I’ve started doing this and it has made a difference. When you show you are willing to listen, I believe it is the beginnings of influence.

Next, a big key is showing you know your material due to having references of experts who have studied and shown what you are saying to be valuable. This gives credibility to you because you took the time to gather evidence.

Next, sharing what people who are like them who have transformed have said is essential. This is a testimonial – but of someone who has struggled. If you can show that people in similar situations were reached and benefited, then you are well on your way.

Finally, start with where they are. Jim Rohn said it best, “To take people where you want them to go, start with where they are. If people are hurting, you have to start in the hurt.” Speak from the position of where the person struggling is. This is difficult. I know, I’ve been trying it for some time now and have yet to perfect it.

Why I (Or You) Should Even Care

I think it boils down to your philosophy of the world as a whole as opposed to what you are receiving. If you focus just on what you get personally, this might not be the approach for you. But if you believe in the strength of humans as a whole working together and growing together, this approach is for you. You have to decide for yourself – do you take the time to try and reach those who are not like you, even though it might not make you much money? Or do you go after your specific target market and take the ‘easy’ road?

I’ll be in Yellowstone a week after publishing this post. Looking forward to the trip!

Have you ever made a mistake and said to yourself, “I can’t believe I did that … again!” Have you watched someone do the same thing over and over and wonder why they keep doing it? Surely there is something wrong with the other person! If they could just see things from your perspective, maybe things would turn out better for them.

People find a way

People find a way to do what they want. To understand what they want, you must take a trip backwards through their entire journey in life, not just a moment. When someone is first born into the world, neural connections in the brain are made at an astounding rate. The baby learns at a rate that far surpasses adults.

As time goes on, the rate of learning decreases. But already, there are connections in the brain that are forming beliefs about the world. Predetermined responses to words, phrases, sounds, loud noises, laughter, anger, video, and more, are forming. As a human develops over time, the connections in their brain form the basis for what they want in life.

I’m not master of anatomy. But even if all I had was my own experience and the experiences of other people to make this claim from, that would be enough for me. Maybe I don’t know the exact details of how the brain connects via its neurons; but, suffice it to say, I do understand that each human becomes more programmed and predetermined to a certain way of life as time goes on.

Links in the brain

You probably have links in your brain that are important to you. What is a link? It is simply a connection you’ve made about a situation or circumstance that you find either good or bad. You may have had a bad experience in front of a group of people when you were young. This may have formed a belief in your mind that getting in front of people is painful.

You may have had a good experience doing a sport when you were young. Perhaps you found you were good at it and enjoyed it. Chances are that you have a connection in your brain to this activity. For instance, I love the game of basketball. This is because at a young age I was shown the game, I enjoyed it the first time, had a good experience, and continue to do so to this day.

All your beliefs about the world and every possible situation are stored in your brain—some you don’t even know about yet. Have you thought much about what you would do if you were at work and a person with a gun came in and started shooting? Chances are you would do what most people do: either freeze in place, or go find a room to barricade yourself in.

Were this situation to happen, your belief about the situation would surface. But chances are you aren’t thinking about it much beforehand. This is the extreme example. Most of the links in your brain are from previous situations and your response to them are stored for future use. I had bad experiences growing up interacting with people. As such, I became very shy. I’ve had to do some major programming in recent years to undo the damage from that.

Involuntary change in the brain

Your beliefs may even cause some involuntary links to be formed. Last year, I made the mistake of saying something to somebody that Jane Doe had told me. Unbeknownst to me, Jane Doe wanted what they said to me to be kept private. I obviously did not pick up on this assumption; but, to this day, Jane Doe acts differently toward me. She is less open to me in what she says and has formed a belief, based on my mistake, that I should not be told anything personal.

What about the bank robber? Do you think that someone who goes to rob a bank has been that way their entire life? Chances are there was some event that triggered a link in their brain. A new belief. It could have been getting laid off from the bank as a worker. Or it might have been getting abused in some way. Whatever it is, it triggered a very intense link. Why? Because most people don’t go around robbing banks!

Involuntary conformity is another link/belief in the brain. From a young age in grade school, we are told to sit down and shut-up. We are told to be quiet. We are told to obey the rules. We are punished if we do not obey the rules. This programs the majority of people’s brains to act in a conformist way. To not follow rules is to get punished and feel pain…

Mental conditioning

An athlete trains to get stronger and faster. Our brains are the same way. If we train our brains to focus on stress and struggle, we will create that life for ourselves. If we train our brains to focus on reward and benefit, we will create that life as well. It is a shame to see people conditioning their brains toward stress, despair, struggle, and pessimism. Often, it is done without any realization that the brain is becoming more and more cemented to think that way.

Master marketers are especially adept at conditioning the brains of other people. I’ll take the phrase “weight loss” for example. If you are someone who understands fitness and nutrition, then you know that “weight loss” is really a loaded term. Real health comes from focusing on lean muscle mass, percent body fat, and healthy eating several times a day (more than three)—not just the number on the scale.

Yet there are countless companies who sell you the idea of weight loss and how it is a magic formula for feeling better in your life. I really think society has a ways to go if these companies are staying in business. And this is a tough obstacle to overcome. Weight loss is so entrenched in society that it is going to take a herculean effort to shift the conscious way of thinking about health.

Philosophy of wealth

Give $1,000 to 50 random people and there is going to be many different uses of that money. But chances are, the money is going to be spent on something that has been advertised to the person. As a society, we are conditioned through TV commercials to consume. We are conditioned to buy the latest gadget, to get that new car, to spend our money on different things.

Wouldn’t it be marvelous to create a “commercial” that focused on investing. And I’m not talking about the investment companies that are trying to sell you on their service. I’m talking about sharing a mindset of investing for the betterment of your future and your children’s future. Perhaps society is not quite ready for that kind of constant exposure.

An example of philosophy of wealth is “poor” people. I’ve heard people say to me, “I don’t know how I’m going to pay the rent this month” or, “We just don’t have very much money.” The interesting thing is that some of the people I am mentioning make more money than I do. And I consider myself to be doing pretty well. So the amount of income is irrelevant when it comes to your philosophy of wealth.

The person who was talking about not knowing how to pay their rent still finds a way to go to an expensive restaurant or take their family to eat fast food—all of which are much more expensive than budgeting and focusing on cost-effective food in the home. The point is, people find a way to do what is most important to them. A “poor” person’s philosophy says that they must be comfortable above all else. They must feel like they have money before they actually have any.

What you think about productivity

Your philosophy of productivity will determine much of what you do (and don’t do). I’d like to think that most people who have read up to this point have a high value of productivity and results. However, there are people in the world—many people—who have a philosophy of productivity that equates to “work sucks.” This is unfortunate. There is going to be difficulty in overcoming the hardships we face in society if a large number of people have a poor philosophy of productivity.

You’ve probably gained momentum one way or the other. I’ve known people since I was very young who have done everything they can to get someone else to get things for them. Whether it was retrieving something from the same room or avoiding physical activity, this has naturally propagated later in life and manifested itself in wealth, health, and happiness.

There are many I’ve seen, especially online, who I can tell are gaining tremendous momentum through their activity. They are creating their website(s), gaining readers, likely getting in excellent physical condition, living a healthy life, and becoming more happy each day. I am so privileged to know these people, many of whom are on the inspirational people on the web list.

Easy versus hard

Your belief about doing things that are easy and hard will definitely shape your life and where you will ultimately arrive. Do you love the challenge of overcoming something that is hard? Do you shy away from that which is easy in favor of difficult challenges that help you grow? Or do you seek after the easy things constantly, shying away from what is difficult as if it were a nasty fire waiting to burn you?

Think of your brain neurons as a bunch of wires. The older you get, the more wires you have. As you get older, removing or changing these wires becomes more difficult. To remove one often involves much pain and using a giant pair of shears to cut the wire (metaphorically speaking).

The human spirit—inner will and determination—is something I believe is built into our DNA. It’s dormant for many people, but I believe each one of us can tap into it. The wires I mentioned above can be ripped out and replaced with confidence and a growth that trumps conforming and adhering to the status quo.

If you have a belief in your mind that you HATE tomatoes, then eating a raw tomato is going to be HARD. Even if eating the tomato will help prevent a nasty cancer that will cause you many years of pain, the short term sight of the less-than-favorable taste of the tomato wins out. Still, this can be overcome through choice. By doing the hard thing and consuming the tomato again and again, repetition reprograms the brain and, chances are, the tomato will only help you.

Actions and reactions

If I walked up to you and said, “You’re an idiot!” that would have a profound and negative effect on most people. Similarly, if I said, “You are absolutely gorgeous!” this will have a much different effect. What is the difference? Sounds. Interpretation of the sounds. Belief in intent of the other. The reality is, you choose to feel a certain way based on what you believe someone means. Some people may like being called an idiot. And that’s their belief…

When I first did P90X, it was hard and my first reaction was to stop doing it. It was uncomfortable and the thought of working out that hard for an hour was demoralizing. A whole hour! Working out? What am I thinking! These were my thoughts at first. But I had an over-riding belief that prevented the quitting reaction. It was that I would get physically fit at any cost…

We all have different needs. I need to feel like I am contributing to the world. I need to feel like I am helping others get more out of themselves than had they not known me. Your needs may be different. But don’t ignore your needs just because they require work and effort. Jim Rohn said it best, “Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.” How true this is.

Final thoughts

Fear is a big deterrent to doing. The fear of failing or not being very good at something often prevents the first steps to something greater. Think of something you are good at. Chances are, when you first started you were not good at it. But you kept at it and mastered it.

I was watching Joel Osteen the other day on TV. He was speaking in front of a large group of people in a baseball stadium. His ability to stir people to action and interest in what he has to say is of note. Joel Osteen knows his material. He inspires and leads people. He’s certainly learned a thing or two about “The Lost Secret of Kings.”

The challenge is examining our own behavior and learning and understanding why we do and don’t do things. This is the key to unlocking our potential. This is the key to confronting our fears. We CAN over-ride a fear and go confront it. It’s a simple matter of choosing to do so…

image by wdavidmckenzie

The Scarcity Mindset is the mindset of this rodent. Seth Godin would call this the Lizard Brain. They are the same thing. The rodent hoards as much food as it can. It will fight to feed itself. It won’t cooperate. It’s got a one track mind. There is no chance that this rodent will evolve from a creature that worries constantly about feeding itself.

Now picture this. You’re 60 years old (or some age much older than you are now). As you walk around, you limp because your knees and hips are degrading. You have a hunched back and your eyesight is bad. You’re taking a slew of pills to try and ‘fix’ your physical problems. To make matters worse, you don’t have much money to you name, and as such, you’re struggling at an old age just to get by.

The Scarcity Mindset is the belief that one must fight for every penny, every possession, and hoard as many material things as possible for the fear of one day not having enough and dying. That’s it. The fear of death is the root cause of it. Money is the focal point. The mindset is that without money, one cannot live, cannot eat, cannot live comfortably. The Scarcity Mindset says that one must try to be comfortable at all times so as to avoid any discomfort and possibly death. This leads to behavior that is often counter-productive, irrational, and physically destructive.

Financial distribution

There’s an article of a person facing financial difficulty in their 60′s. This is a good start for realizing the fear many people have. “What if all my business ideas fail? What if I never make enough money?” While young, I believe many questions like these plague the minds of individuals and cloud their judgment. They cloud their judgment in the sense that they focus on hoarding, acquiring ‘things’, and being as comfortable as possible. Because what happens if you lose all your money? Lots of pain and discomfort! Better to hoard now while you can.

Here’s an interesting fact about the United States income distribution: The highest American earners gained almost three quarters of total income growth during the economic expansion from 2002-2006. The remaining 99% of workers split the final 25% amongst themselves.

Now a lot of statistics are shown about income distribution. But the general idea is that a small percentage of people control the majority of the wealth in the United States (and throughout the world). This is the financial reality of the Scarcity Mindset.

Where your income is

If you are reading this, I’m going to go out on a limb and say you are in the bottom distribution of income in the United States. If you are not, I salute to you as you are in a minority! But if you are, it isn’t your fault. I don’t think there is one person who says, “I want to have less income than the rich.” In terms of income, you are earning what you know how to earn, just as I, right now, am earning what I know how to earn. At any given moment, we are ‘capped’ on what we can earn due to our mindset, skills, and whatever ‘job’ we are doing.

This is the destructive pattern of the Scarcitiy Mindset. Families which are low income remain low income. The children in these families pass on the low income to their children. Rarely does one step out of this cycle and enter the top income bracket. It happens, but it is all too rare. Think about it. We’d see the income distribution ratio change were more people breaking out of the lower income brackets. Perhaps I am being naive, but I don’t think so.

Here’s a quote from me: “Most people think about providing for one and only one person. The individual – them. Some have moved this to providing for their families. But those who break out of the Scarcity Mindset have realized that true wealth comes from providing for the needs of many.” The first problem to solve has been identified now. How does one change from just being able to provide for themself or their family?

Tackling the first problem

Providing for yourself is actually pretty easy. You just need to find enough food, clothing, and shelter to live reasonably well. Sure there may be challenges, but it’s still pretty easy. You can get a job at McDonalds, live with several room-mates, and survive for most of your life. All this is done just by thinking of yourself alone. That’s a big reason why there is an income disparity. Most people think “Me Me Me”. Those who think abundance – that is abundance for them AND a large group of people – these people have conquered the Scarcity Mindset.

It’s not even money at the point of overcoming the Scarcity Mindset. It’s simply a mindset. A belief. A quest! A quest to contribute to the world in a way that benefits many people. A challenge to this is simply that there is no simple roadmap to do this. Quite honestly, it’s one of those things you have to try at and fail at many times before success is found. How many times have you tried something for a short time, not seen results, and then simply quit or stopped doing it regularly?

For those of you doing websites, the Scarcity Mindset might be trying to rear its ugly head at you. For me, it says, “You better install the Alexa Toolbar in many different locations and visit your website to keep your ranking high. Otherwise, your website will die.” Ouch, I can’t believe such thoughts enter my head, but they do. Will they ever go away permanently? I hope so – but even if they don’t, I can still choose what I focus on.

This is a challenge. If there is no visible incentive for doing more than you are, why do more than you are? Why should someone seek to add benefit to a large group of people? Why should someone increase their skills to better aid in the progress of the human race? These are tough questions. These aren’t questions for those who are simply looking to make it to the weekend away from their day jobs. These are life change questions. Sovling the first problem starts by asking the tough questions and doing a thorough examination or audit of your life.

Other people will solve the problem

With the Scarcity Mindset, there is no desire to learn and fix problems. The idea is that someone else will take care of it. For those of you working in corporate America, have you seen someone do this? A complex problem comes up that nobody wants to handle. There is a perpetual hope that someone will figure it out and solve it. The Scarcity Mindset focuses on staying comfortable and not stressing out about complex issues.

One thing to think about this is does taking the time and effort to solve a problem really cause stress? Does it do something bad to you that is so awful that it should be avoided? Yet this is the perception those in the Scarcity Mindset take. And this is precisely one of the main reasons why the economic disparity is so great. The wealthy are taking the time to solve and understand complex issues. The poor would rather be comfortable.

There’s some key characteristics that one must use and possess in order to push past just being comfortable. One must first have at least a little bit of faith. I encountered an interesting problem at my job today as a web developer. Some buttons on one of our pages were dissapearing ONLY in Internet Explorer version 7. I had a few ideas, but was not sure why this was happening. Having no idea of how to solve the problem, I took a leap of faith and began investigating.

The result of this investigation was a fascinating turn of events. I began to discover a key thing: Clues. I found clues that led me to search specific areas. I am already an expert in web development so my ability to search was accelerated. Eventually I discovered the problem and was able to put in a solution that solved it completely. It started with faith and then finding clues while I investigated.

Don’t do anything out of the ordinary

Imagine being on an airplane flying through the sky. Also imagine that there is an alarm system on the plane. Every time even an ounce of turbulance occurs, the plane begins to sound the alarm. It’s as loud and more annoying than the Red Alert sound from Star Trek. This happens every few minutes when the plane jumps a little. It’s especially bad when there is heavy turbulance. The plane sounds the alarm constantly and loudly.

Would you want to fly on an airplane like this? I sure wouldn’t. The noise for every movement out of the ordinary would drive me insane. Yet this is exactly how one with the Scarcity Mindset lives their life. Anyone or anything out of the ordinary raises the person’s blood pressure. They begin to sweat. Or they get angry, annoyed, or frustrated. There is a set of narrow rules that this type of person lives by and any violation of such sounds out an alarm.

Think about when you were in grade school (for most of you). There is a certain ‘adherence’ to policy that is enforced. You must sit in your chair. You must hold your pencil correctly. You must not be tardy. You must not talk to your neighbor. You must, must, must. Then when you got home, it was the same thing with your parents…

Don’t jump on the bed. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Don’t run in the house. Don’t spill the drink. Don’t stay out too late. Make your bed. Clean your room. On and on it goes. It is a challenge to overcome what has been passed down through generations as ‘normal’. I believe human-kind needs to break through this monotonous mindset in order to make the technological and evolutionary leaps we are capable of.

It’s someone else’s fault

At the time of writing this, President Obama is talking about a massive oil spill in the Atlantic Ocean. Apparently there is a lot of finger pointing as to whose fault it is. This reminds me of the game hot potato. If you throw the hot potato away from you, you don’t get burned and win the game. This translates into human behavior. Someone else is to blame for problems because if it is their fault, then I don’t get scolded and feel pain or ashamed.

This primitive mindset is going to hold back the progression of the human race as a whole. Would it be so bad if people shifted from blaming others to asking, “How can I help make this situation better?” Would it be so bad to have collaboration go on and fix the problem and at the same time taking the steps to civily talk about the problem and prevent if from occuring again? Yet the easy thing to do is immediately tap into the Scarcity Mindset and begin blaming others. It is kind of ironic – this mindset looks to others to solve problems, yet at the same time blames them when things go wrong…

What’s in it for you for taking charge to solve a problem? How about learning to overcome challenges so that people as a whole can make progress? How about increasing your worth to your company or the market place in general. Seth Godin talks about doing more than the status quo in his book, ‘Linchpin’. It’s a pretty good book and will help you see your day job in a new light.

Where do you fit in

So now the tough question for you is, “Where do you fit in?” Are you easily disturbed, constantly seeking comfort, and avoiding learning and facing problems and fears? Or are you striving to learn, work with others, solve problems, better your life, and add unique value to the world? You need only look to the situations you face in life and how you react. Does a child jumping on a couch totally stress you out? Are you easily frustrated by people at work? Are you constantly blaming others for your problems? These are clues to the mindset you have.

My challenge to you (if you haven’t already) is to move away from the Scarcity Mindset. By not taking responsibility for yourself, you are sealing your fate. Remember the very beginning of this article? The old person, in serious pain, in financial trouble? Is that the life you want for yourself? The Scarcity Mindset is a sure way to get there. Why not focus on calming down, getting rid of all your ‘rules’ for people, and enjoying life while adding your own unique contribution which you refine and share with the world?

The worst that could happen is you make some profound connections with others and increase in your ability to provide for yourself and others. Is this such a bad thing?

Okay big shot, what are you doing?

Good question, but do you really want me to bore you with it? Still, if you want to know, I’ll answer it. I’m creating websites, writing books, focusing highly on personal development, reading books, collaborating with like minded individuals, investing in stocks, planning to invest in real-estate, looking for ways to add more value to my company where I work full-time, looking to better lead my family, and leaving the world a better place than I found it.

My Friends: What are your biggest fears? Who do you know that is living in the Scarcity Mindset.

image by wdavidmckenzie

Steve Pavlina wrote an article entitled, Your past DOES equal your future. (article is here).
Anthony Robbins says, “Your past does NOT equal your future.”
Clearly two people can’t both be right, can they?

Steve Pavlina

I can understand why Steve would say Tony is dead wrong about the past not equaling the future. After reading his blog, Steve leads me to believe that he sees Tony as a ‘bulk producer’ of self improvement tools to cater to the masses, but skimps on real lasting value. Still, the issue up for debate here is the past equaling the future. Steve clearly talks about this and adds that to change the future, one must change the past…

Anthony Robbins

Tony Robbins clearly has something going for him. He has a tremendous amount of energy and passion. I’ve listened to Tony’s seminars and read some of his books. He’s done a tremendous amount of research. The issue up for debate with him is the statement about your past not equaling your future.

Both these ‘gurus’ are masters. I’ll admit they are more experienced, versed, and knowledgeable than I am at the present time. Still, I can sit at a computer and type and thus I shall add my voice to the discussion. I believe both scenarios are completely true … and completely false. To explain this, let’s examine what one’s past might look like. Let’s take a look at the past of someone who probably has quite a bit they want to change. The past might look something like this.

• not making much money
• overweight
• frustrated
• stressed
• tired
• bored
• angry

Altering the course

If this is how you feel yesterday with no life examination, then, almost certainly, you will feel this way today and tomorrow. This isn’t rocket science. Do nothing and you shall remain the same. What chance do you think a blank piece of paper has of getting written on if it wasn’t written on yesterday? Not much of a chance at all. What if that paper were written on yesterday? The chance increases. What if it were written on for many days in a row? The chance is even greater.

Were you frustrated at your job last week? Chances are you are frustrated today. Were you getting frustrated with your children last week? Chances are you are getting frustrated with them today. Were you stressed out about not having enough money to pay your rent yesterday? Chances are you are stressed out about it today. Did you have a gut and lack of exercise yesterday? Chances are you have that gut and lack of exercise today. Were you addicted to World of Warcraft yesterday? Chances are you are addicted today.

There is a familiar theme here—is it scaring you? It is scaring me, to be honest. It can be a very discouraging thing to see that what you’ve been doing in the past is what you are going to be doing today. How do you improve, then? How do you make a positive change? How do you get different results than what you have been getting in the past? How do you make more money? How do you start feeling better, being more active, and having a body that is alive (and rid of that gut)?

I can share with you what I have continued to do in the past that has equaled the future. Perhaps something from my own experience will help you. I’ve played World of Warcraft and become inactive and unproductive. I’ve felt unhealthy. I’ve been frustrated at having no money. I’ve been depressed for long periods at a time, no doubt providing a frustrating experience for my wife who had to put up with my constant replies of “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” or “I guess.”

While on a two-year service mission in Ireland in the late ’90s, I heard someone mention that Gordon B. Hinckley of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said this phrase, which stuck with me, “If you don’t change, you stay the same.”

Your past

Let’s take a more specific example from the past of many people. In your past you might have had a desire to lose some weight. Let’s say you want to lose those last 15 pounds. You are really certain you are going to do it. You are going to fit into those jeans once and for all. You are giving up sugar. This time, things are going to be different. I have two tough questions for you.

• How long does it really take to lose 15 pounds?
• How long have you been trying to lose 15 pounds (or whatever the amount is)?

I’m going on a hunch here, but I’m willing to bet you’ve been trying to lose the weight for a while now. Am I right? You’ve tried many things. You lose a few pounds here and there, but then you pig out. And you lose even a few more, but then you pig out again. You see-saw between losing a few and gaining more. I know the frustration, I’ve had it before, too. The problem is that it is indeed predictable, as Steve Pavlina points out in his article.

Don’t get too discouraged though. Yes, if you continue with your current thinking and patterns, you’ll never lose that 15 pounds. I’m sorry, but you won’t, not unless there is a food shortage. Until you grasp that what you are doing is not working and you are just repeating the same mistakes over and over, you will indeed be predictable at losing a few pounds and then gaining them right back.

Changing the past

Steve Pavlina says to inject evidence of change into your past. That is part of it. But haven’t you done that already? Haven’t you given up sugar? Haven’t you starved yourself? Haven’t you tried diet and exercise? Isn’t that enough?

NO!

It is quite simply not enough until you step on a scale and you are 15 pounds lighter, period. Until that happens, your past equals your future. You set the goal to lose the weight. Until you do, you are no different than you were yesterday. This is the same even if you are trying to lose 200 pounds. You can have a stomach surgery and lose 100 pounds and be no different than you were before the surgery—except for having your stomach in a different state and the 100 pounds ‘forced’ out. But you and your mind are the same.

Real change for the past not equaling the future

I know I’ve harped on weight loss here. But it’s such a good example because it’s something most people can relate to. And here is the irony. In order to create a future different than the past, you must fully partake of the entire meal and not just nibble. Read that again one more time. You must feast on the new meal, the new goal or habit you are trying to achieve.

This means you don’t just give up sugar and hope for the best. It means you create an exercise plan including cardio and weight training. It means you shift your food intake to healthy vegetables, greens, whole grains, and more. It means you start reading the books that are going to help you get to where you want to go. It means working on your emotions and mindset. It means interacting with other individuals who have the same energy you are trying to achieve.

This is not simply ‘get by’ or ‘hope for the best’. This is lifelong change. You can take a rubber band and stretch it, but you’ll let go eventually and it will snap back to how it used to be. This is taking the rubber band and stretching it permanently around a book or other object. There’s no going back for it with a permanent fixture in place.

Slice into your pie for change

The past does not equal the future when you slice into your life pie. How’s that for more weight loss irony? Make room for something different. It IS that simple. If I introduce something new, or I introduce a new way of doing something that I haven’t done before—or that I haven’t done in a long time—then a change is happening. Imagine yourself walking along a straight path. If you just keep walking forward, you’ll inevitably stay on the same path. But if you turn just a little bit, there is a change of direction. There is something different.

Still, the change isn’t a part of you yet. There’s still plenty of opportunity to jump right back on the path. But imagine keeping it up for many months in a row. You’ll be far enough from the old path that reverting back will be difficult. You’d have to work hard to go back to how you were. And you won’t want to because you’ll have a new set of habits now…

My friends: Does the past equal the future? Does the past not equal the future? Who is right, Steve Pavlina or Tony Robbins?

There are moments in life that are pivotal. In an instant things can change and you will never be the same. I am sure many of you have experienced these moments. Your first time riding a bike; your first kiss; your first time being married and the consummation that followed; your first time questioning your religion/faith; your first time hearing a thunderclap from lightning right next to you; your first time discovering something true and very powerful.

Life has graced me with such a moment. I’m not sure if it’s because I am trying so hard right now to make a difference. Maybe I just got lucky. Maybe it is the result of hard work and just putting the pieces together after so much effort. Whatever it is, there was a moment today that I discovered a universal truth about the wealthy and powerful. And quite frankly, it both scares and fascinates me, each to an extreme.

The revealing of this great truth is like watching a movie and having the main plot twist revealed. It’s like having the hairs on your head and neck stand up and feeling a chill. It is the moment when you realize the universe is much more than you originally thought. I know this sounds mystical. I don’t mean for it to.

This video from the movie ‘Unbreakable’ gets close to what I am trying to relay. I picture myself as the protagonist, whom Bruce Willis plays and what he is able to ‘sense’ from those around him. And I now know there are many – both good and evil – in this world who use this lost secret which I recently discovered the doorway to.

Unbreakable – some scenes contain sensitive material

The truth was the doorway I have been longing to find. The best way I can describe it is like finding the door to the place you know will lead you to where you want to go. In the past couple years I began the journey to find this door. And finding the door and opening it will create an entirely new and separate journey that I am both terrified and excited about.

The wealthy and powerful

It’s not hard to find people who are wealthy and powerful if you just look around. And these people come in many forms, with intentions varying from the best to the worst. I am not here to speculate on the intention of some of these individuals, but I am here to share some of them who are using this lost secret that I believe few even know exist. And the lost secret is well beyond the law of attraction. It is even well beyond the ‘missing ingredient’ to ‘The Secret’ and ‘Think and Grow Rich’ that many claim to have found.

Here are FOUR individuals who use this lost secret to great effect. They are much more apparent to me now than they were in the past as I see their mark on the world in many ways.

Anthony Robbins

He’s a mega millionaire who worked for Jim Rohn in his late teens and early twenties. He’s created for himself a life where he works with top individuals from around the world and holds week long seminar’s which people pay thousands of dollars to attend. His life is one many dream to have, but if most people knew how hard he worked, they might reconsider.

Tony uses the Lost Secret Of Kings. He uses it to create the things in his life he wants the most. He uses it to lead and inspire others. And it is much more than simply visualizing and thinking the right thing. Tony is a master in the area of psychology and inspiring other people. He is the master coach. And he uses that mastery, along with the Lost Secret Of Kings to create tremendously for himself and others.

Kevin Trudeau

Ahh yes, the famous (or infamous) Kevin Trudeau. You might know him best for his infomercials for ‘Natural Cures’, ‘Debt Cures’, and his recent ‘Your Wish Is Your Command’ program. The guy has had an inordinate amount of success (and a fair share of legal trouble as well). He is finding a way to create things that many people are purchasing and this alone is of note.

Kevin uses this Lost Secret in a unique way. He shares that he was with ‘The Brotherhood’, a secret organization which he has now left and has secrets from to share (but only if you pay for it). He has mastered the art of understanding the desires of people as a whole and fine tuning his presentations to match in a way that people respond to.

Vince McMahon

You probably know Vince from wrestling – the WWF and now WWE. For what seems like an eternity, he he’s been working with wrestling. I’m not sure what the last Wrestle-mania was, was it 50? Clearly Vince understands something in regards to creating income and using entertainment/wrestling to achieve this.

According to Wikipedia, Vince has around a billion dollar net worth. He uses an aspect of the lost secret, which is very simple, yet very effective. Just look at how he changes with the times. Look at how he is hosting a new event every month for pay per view. Look at how he starts and ends each event. There are clues here in how he is able to hone in and tap into the vibrations of others.

Jerry Bruckheimer

This guy reminds me of ‘House’, you know that guy from the TV show who walks with that cane. But really, you’ll find his name at the end credits of just about every action/drama/science fiction TV series. I’m amazed at how much his name comes up. Clearly, Jerry is doing something right. Clearly he is deemed valuable in the area of production both for TV and movies.

He started producing in the 1970s, so time is on his side. Doing something over and over and making sure to get better for 30 years is a pretty good way to make a good mark on the world. I think his success comes from starting with the basics, starting small, and then branching out to do more. I believe he wasn’t always a master producer, but he became such through tireless discipline and working areas he knew people were interested in. Think about that for a moment.

To the four of you, I proclaim, “I’ve found the doorway which you’ve already gone through and have found much in the way of thought to reality creation. I may not have the resources right now to sit down individually with each of you and that is ok. Because I am picking up on your signals. You cannot be in your position and not have some people take notice and ‘hone in’ on your vibrations.”

The benefits of the lost secret

• Physical and mental health
• Peace and calmness of mind with clarity
• The ability to CHOOSE your own destiny
• Courage and a shield against fear
• Mental capacity to remain positive and optimistic at all times
• The acquiring of material possession in this life

The penalties for neglecting the lost secret

• Illness, sickness, and suffering
• Constant fear and worrying about what terrible event might happen next
• Being indecisive and unable to choose the direction your life should go
• Constant frustration and discouragement
• The constant need to never have enough
• Anger, jealousy, and strife created at every turn

Have you guessed what the Lost Secret Of Kings is? Why don’t I just spill the beans and tell you what it is? If you’ve truly discovered this lost secret and the doorway it leads to, then you know I would be violating a very important rule were I to share it with you :)

image by Suji Martens

This post is inspired by a recent acquaintance from a financial blog I’ve been reading, Financial Samurai. Sam is the website owner and he is intelligent and knowledgeable about finance. I recently commented on his blog and told him I spent a large part of my 20′s (I am 32 right now writing this) wasting money and time. He said to look back on those years to see the good there was.

This has prompted me to take a look back on life. I ask those of you reading to do the same. You may be younger than me or even older. Do you look on your past years with regret and shaking your head? Maybe this article will help give you a different perspective on that.

What I Look Back With Disdain On In My 20′s

• Low self esteem, even while married to a wonderful woman.
• Lack of financial savings. I had no clue what to do with money.
• No time spent learning and growing.
• Not paying proper attention to my wife.
• Going to a startup company that completely failed.
• Abandoning a website that I should not have (in 2004 – the computer games one below).
• And perhaps many more…

What can you think of right now that you don’t like when you look back on your life? Keep this in your mind, I want to hear about it below.

After Much Thought, What I Liked About My 20′s

• I completed a two year service mission in Ireland.
• I completed a four year Information Technology degree at a college.
• I married my lovely wife, Heidi.
• While in college, I was a teacher’s assistant and was able to help many students with their questions/problems.
• Completely solo, I worked for an internet company doing development, database management, customer support – everything.
• I programmed an e-commerce website that sold computer games, connected with a drop shipper and built a relationship, and hooked it up to a merchant account, and got it making sales in just a few months! (in 2004)
• I upgraded my job every year after 25 with an increase in salary. I increased my technical skills greatly.
• I went on a cruise with my wife to the Carribean.
• In my very late 20′s, I started to shift my self esteem to have high worth for myself.
• Many more good things, probably.

Our Focus Is Where We Go

There’s always going to be blunders in the past. Hey, we’re human right? We screw up – and often we don’t know the valuable lesson to be learned from that screw up that later provides opportunity. Because I worked for a startup that bombed, several of my own (and wife’s) websites were created, with minor success, and the completion of an over 300 page fiction/fantasy novel that I am in the final phases of editing. That’s no small feat, I’d never written more than 20 pages total until the startup debacle!

The point is, with some insight and thought, we can look back with fondness in the past and use that focus to grow. Thanks to Sam, the Financial Samurai for helping me take a page out of what this website offers, and that is the ability to inspire. I really love my years in the 20′s. I was such a young person, but grew tremendously. And I still have much to learn, however, I am on the right path. And this makes me happy!

What mistakes in your past have turned out to be blessings? Reflect for a moment and perhaps you will find the same fondness of your past that I did. Or you are already fond of your past and can just share the things you are proud of. Either way, thanks for listening and may your days be filled with success and growth.

image by Gandalf

NEW! Virtual self talk discs series – audio files you can listen to while at work or driving. You can listen to the first one right now!

“Time to throw up again, let’s see if I can get it all in one go!” — “I wonder how many germs are lurking inside me?” … See why saying things like this can be helpful to you as you read on.

When I saw that this article title wrapped to THREE lines, I felt negative feelings due to its not fitting in nicely (Negativity being on its own line). But then I looked at the picture of that balrog demon I found and said to myself, “That demon sure is cool” and the negativity was crushed like a bug.

I first wrote about Positive Self Talk a year and a half ago (on another website). But this is an evolved mention of it. Do you believe you can cure negativity by talking positively to yourself? The goal here is to learn about situations and strategies for using positive self talk to give you favorable outcomes in otherwise dreadful situations (i.e. conquer that demon you see there at the top). If you find yourself or your friends being negative, this is definitely for you.

Some potentially dreadful situations needing positive self talk

• You were just informed you have a herniated disc in your lower spine.
• You just lost a bunch of money in the stock market.
• You just got dumped by someone you care about.
• You are driving to a job you can’t stand.
• You feel angry at someone who offended you.
• You feel sick.
• You’re stuck at an airport because your flight has been delayed for a while.
• You have to get up and speak in front of a group of people.
• You just realized you didn’t backup your files and your computer died.
• You feel lonely and unloved.
• Your business is not doing very well.

What other situations would you add to this? I’m sure there are plenty of other situations which are just dreadful.

Decide to be optimistic and positive

What happens to you when you face a daunting situation? Is your first reaction to say, “This Sucks?” If it is, then my first strategy for you is to sit down, put your hand on your chin and say this, “Maybe there is something else I can say other than ‘This Sucks’.” After doing that, decide you will say something else. But don’t just decide this one time. Every morning you wake up, spend one minute – that’s right just one minute telling yourself you will be optimistic and positive.

Learn and customize positive self talk phrases

Have you decided to be optimistic and positive? The next step is to decide what you will say to yourself instead. I will add some examples for the above situations as well as some general examples for you to start with. But then you must create your own positive self talk dialog which you will recite to yourself frequently.

• You were just informed you have a herniated disc in your lower spine.
  “Looks like I get to learn about how my back works now. This will come in handy.”
• You just lost a bunch of money in the stock market.
  “Let’s see what went wrong.” — “Everyone makes mistakes and many have lost more than I have – I will do better next time.”
• You just got dumped by someone you care about.
  “It’s their loss. I am a wonderful person.” — “I know I will find someone much better in the future who meets my standards.”
• You are driving to a job you can’t stand.
  “It’s time for me to excel today. Whatever I have to do, I will do it better than anyone else.” — “I’m going to make someone smile today.”
• You feel angry at someone who offended you.
  “I want to understand this person better.” — “I am a confident person. What people say will not affect me.”
• You feel sick.
  “Time to throw up again, let’s see if I can get it all in one go!” — “I wonder how many germs are lurking inside me?” — “This will end soon and I will be stronger.”
• You’re stuck at an airport because your flight has been delayed for a while.
  “It’s time to meet some people in this airport.” — “Good, this is time to gather my thoughts and meditate.”
• You have to get up and speak in front of a group of people.
  “This is awesome, I get to share what I think with other people!” — “These people will love my unique personality.”
• You just realized you didn’t backup your files and your computer died.
  “Lesson learned, I am more intelligent now.” — “I’m sure I will recover and more from this.” — “That was silly of me.”
• You feel lonely and unloved.
  “I really am special and unique.” — “It’s time to contribute to the world.” — “I love who I am.”
• Your business is not doing very well.
  “What can I do to add value?” — “How can I serve?” — “How can I entertain?” — “I will double my efforts and recommit myself.”

General positive self talk

Your positive self talk should focus on the good in situations, the humor, what you can do to improve, and be the opposite of whatever negative thought you were having. If you sit down and just think whenever you have a negative thought what the opposite is, you can start creating a list of positive self talk dialog to carry around with you. Focus on contributing, smiling, improving yourself, and then create short sentences which reinforce this. Such as the following:

• I am confident and love challenges.
• I offer my unique personality to everyone I come in contact with.
• It’s time to accomplish something today.
• I accept the things I cannot change and look forward to improving what I can.
• Nothing can stop me, I am a leader and force of good.

Catch yourself when you feel the negativity coming on

The strategy here is to stop everything you are doing when a negative thought creeps in. When this happens, take a notebook out (or something to record in) and make permanent your new positive dialog which will replace what you just said. So “This Sucks” becomes “What can I learn from this?” as an example. Soon you’ll have an army of new positive things to say which you can use at any time.

I will always recommend this book for positive self talk – it will serve you well as a pocket guide for positive self talk.

How will this help you? Simply put, you will have a new outlook on life. Certain things won’t stress you out. You’ll be healthier and happier, which is a huge benefit! There are examples here of dreadful situations. Did you think of more situations? You’ve been given some tools and strategies for using positive self talk now. What will you do with them? Do you believe positive self talk works?